let the show go on
by wild wolf free17
Summary: mainly Kurt-centric ficlets, mostly AU, angst abounds
1. Is this then a touch?

**Title**: Is this then a touch?

**Fandom**: High School Musical/Glee

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Whitman

**Warnings**: future!fic for both; AUish after season 1 for Glee

**Pairings**: Chad/Ryan, post-Puck/Kurt

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 1880

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: musical

* * *

><p>Chad was visiting the first time he saw the kid. Kelsi nudged him, nodding to the boy—dressed like Ryan used to, minus the hat. Wide-eyed in wonder, still in the <em>I can't believe I'm in New York<em> phase. Ryan remembers it fondly. Albuquerque is lovely, but it is _not_ preparation for New York.

Chad followed his gaze and smiled. "Gonna adopt him, babe?" he asked, stealing a fry off Ryan's plate.

"Yes," Ryan said decisively, snatching a potato chip in retaliation. "Those who are fabulous must stick together."

o0o

The kid's name was Kurt, and he came from Ohio. He'd been completely miserable there; Ryan still saw the scars. "The only reason I survived," he confessed to Ryan, "was because I could sing. If I hadn't had that…"

Ryan pulled him in for a hug.

o0o

He showed Kurt around Julliard, introduced him to people, sang and danced with him. The kid was good and Ryan looked forward to watching his career. He promised himself, though he didn't mention it to Kurt, that Kurt would have a starring role in his first production in New York.

For his sophomore year, Kurt moved in with Ryan. During the summer between semesters, Chad swung by for a month, decided to adopt the kid, as well, and got him drunk enough to admit what a hell his life in Lima had been. There were good points, too—his dad, and the New Directions glee club, and someone named Noah. But Kurt didn't go home over the summer. He barely talked about his life before Julliard while sober. And after Kurt fell asleep, Chad pulled Ryan close and asked softly, "Was your life like that?"

"No," Ryan told him. "A few jocks tried hassling me, the first week of freshman year." He saw the horrified look on Chad's face and hurried to say, "You weren't one of 'em, Chad. Neither was Troy or Zeke, don't worry." He kissed Chad for a few minutes before chuckling, "You _know_ Sharpay, love. You think she'd let anyone else bully me?"

Reassured, Chad pulled him into their room. Ryan paused in undressing as a thought occurred to him.

"Babe?" Chad asked, dropping his shirt.

"Should I find Noah for him?" Ryan asked. "I could've been him. If I didn't have Sharpay. If I lived somewhere else. I could've been him."

Chad kissed him again, gentle, and said, "He left Ohio. He hasn't kept in contact with anyone but his dad. help him escape."

"Okay," Ryan said, and tackled Chad onto the bed.

o0o

Ryan graduated. Chad flew in for it, then they both flew back for Chad and Sharpay's. They were keeping Ryan's apartment in New York, since Chad wasn't going pro in basketball. Kurt lived with them and Ryan watched with pleasure as he blossomed. Kurt was the little brother he'd wanted, every time Sharpay's tongue got too cruel.

o0o

In the spring of Kurt's sophomore year, Sharpay descended. She took a month off grad school to take New York by storm. Ryan followed in her wake; he loved his sister, but it felt like he'd never left high-school.

Kurt completely adored Sharpay, of course. She decided he was a lovely disciple and taught him how to capitalize on his fabulousness.

Chad spent most of Sharpay's visit bitingly sarcastic and rolling his eyes.

When Sharpay left, she promised Kurt she'd keep in touch. Ryan worried that she'd forget the kid, but the next day, she emailed him a novella about fashion.

o0o

Ryan had work as a choreographer for a dozen shows. Small productions, mostly. He performed bit parts in a few others. Chad coached kids at local gyms in the afternoon and was a bike messenger during the day.

In the break between semesters his senior year, Kurt tagged along to a show with Ryan. Ryan called him Apprentice and was happy to show him off.

Later, Ryan would call it a fairy tale, but the actor for the main character's best friend fell ill, no understudy had been cast, and Kurt had raved for days about the part.

Ryan talked to the director.

Of course, Kurt did fabulous. It was a small play, half a dozen performances, but there were amazing reviews, and they all mentioned Kurt by name.

After the last performance, a Sunday night, Chad and Ryan took Kurt out dancing.

"You'll be a star someday," Ryan told him. "Everyone will know your name!"

Kurt was laughing, exhilarated. As they spun around, he kissed Ryan, and Ryan kissed back. When Kurt realizes what they were doing, he pulled away in a panic. Ryan held his hand, to keep him from running. He gently towed Kurt back in, meeting Chad's gaze and tilting his head to the door. Chad nodded, paid the bartender, and headed out.

"It's alright, Kurt," Ryan whispered into his ear. "C'mon. I didn't mean to ruin your night. Let's get home."

Kurt was tense against him, all exhilaration gone. But he let Ryan lead him out. Chad met them by the entrance and Kurt flinched away. But all Chad did was give Ryan a thorough kiss and take his other hand.

Kurt didn't say a word all the way home. He locked his bedroom door. In the morning, he didn't meet either of their eyes.

It broke Ryan's heart. He asked Chad if sex might be the answer, if he should take Kurt to bed and show him that Ryan did love him. Or maybe, Ryan should apologize for kissing back.

Chad blinked. "You think of him as a brother, right?" Ryan nodded. "So, do you think having sex with Sharpay would fix things whenever you guys fight?"

"Oh, god, no!" Ryan said. "That's disgusting." He rubbed at his eyes, trying to scrub away the image.

Chad looked disgusted, too, and shuddered. "Sorry. But _think_ about it, Ryan. The kid is confused. He idolizes you. He's grateful. And you both flirt, natural as breathing." He shrugged. "Talk to him. Tell him you love him, and he's gorgeous as hell, but you're not in love with him. Or in lust. Tell him he's got a home here and that neither of us will beat him bloody for last night."

Ryan opened his mouth, to apologize to Chad, but Chad put a finger to his lips. "I'm not angry, babe. That kiss? Was hot. Maybe we should explore some things later, but not with Kurt. He really is too much like a kid brother for me to be comfortable with it, and…" He paused, letting his hand drop.

"We'd all regret it," Kurt finished.

Ryan and Chad turned; Kurt stood in the door, wiping at his eyes. "I'm sorry." He smiled at little. "I'm confused," he said. "I idolize both of you. I'm grateful for how you've helped me the last four years, for a place to live, for all the opportunities."

Ryan smiled and opened his arms. Kurt rushed to him and clung as Ryan hummed a lullaby.

Chad threw together a lunch. They never talked about the kiss again.

o0o

Kurt graduated. His dad and stepmom flew in, and Ryan overheard an argument about Kurt moving back to Lima. His name came up a few times, so he headed to the kitchen.

"You know what I just realized?" Ryan asked Chad.

"What, babe?" Chad didn't look up from the meat he was sautéing.

"Kurt hasn't gone on a single date since we met him."

Chad looked over, frowning. "You're right. Holy shit."

o0o

Burt and Carol left. Ryan found a sponsor for a show he'd written and choreographed. (It might have been about a gay theater geek who woos a jock with a baseball. It might have also been slightly autobiographical.)

He let Kurt read over the music and audition.

Kurt got the lead.

o0o

Sharpay and their parents flew in for opening night. Burt and Kurt's stepbrother, Finn, arrived in time for the last performance.

Not a single bad review. It was like a fairy tale. Offers poured in.

But Kurt still didn't date. Ryan worried that he still carried a torch for him, or that Noah guy. Kurt danced with guys at clubs, but Ryan was the only one he ever kissed, and that but once. He never went home with anyone. Never even talked about anyone.

o0o

He took Kurt on a therapeutic shopping trip and carefully danced around the topic. Finally, Kurt laughed. "Ryan, stop worrying about me. I'm fine." Kurt led him to a cute café, and as they sipped their coffee, said, "I had a boyfriend my senior year of high-school. I know that it wasn't true love, and I know that I should've moved on, but every time I try…" He shrugged, fiddling with his mug. "So far, it's been Noah and you."

Ryan winced. "I love you too much for that, Kurt."

Kurt smiled. "I know, Ryan. And when it doesn't hurt, I'm grateful."

o0o

Ryan began arranging dates for Kurt. Chad helped, when and where he could, but also told Ryan, "This is a bad idea, babe. Kurt can find his own dudes, if he wants."

"I know," Ryan said. "But he's not. He won't. He's pining for his high-school sweetheart."

o0o

A dozen dates. Half ended before dinner was done, with one or the other leaving. Half ended in bed and uncomfortable mornings after.

Ryan refused to give in. He took Kurt to clubs and watched for suitable suitors. Few were good enough for Ryan's boy.

o0o

On an ordinary Thursday, Ryan made Chad accompany him and Kurt to a karaoke bar. Chad kept their table stocked in treats and watched their drinks. Ryan and Kurt sang and sang and sang, danced and laughed, and Kurt had never looked so beautiful. Ryan wished he could love Kurt like he deserved to be loved.

They staggered offstage and collapsed at the table. Chad nudged their drinks over. "A dude's been watching you," he told Kurt. He titled his head and Kurt looked over.

His mouth dropped open, his eyes widened, and he breathed, "_Noah_."

Ryan followed his gaze to a tanned, toned, gorgeous man with excellent features and mediocre fashion sense.

As they watched, Noah lifted his glass in Kurt's direction, then drained it down. He waited a moment before walking over, and when he stopped at their table, he had eyes only for Kurt.

"Hey," he said, in a pleasantly deep voice. "Finn told me where you were."

Kurt said, "I never hid my location," in that cold tone Ryan might've thought he borrowed from Sharpay, if he hadn't had it before they met.

Noah sighed. "Will you sing with me, Kurt? Please. Just one last time."

Licking his lips, Kurt glanced quickly at Ryan, who smiled. "It's been four years, Noah. Almost five. I don't have time for scared boys anymore."

Noah leaned down and murmured into Kurt's ear, "I've grown up, sweetheart. All man now." He pulled back and held out a hand. "Sing with me?"

Kurt took his hand, let Noah pull him to his feet. "One song," he said.

Noah smiled, almost as beautiful as Chad's, the day Ryan asked him to move in.

"Do you, like, live in a fairy tale?" Chad asked.

Ryan laughed, pulling him in for a kiss.


	2. he shall reign over ashes

**Title**: he shall reign over ashes

**Fandom**: Supernatural/Glee

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Sonthonax

**Warnings**: AU for Glee; demonic pov; spoilers for up to Never Been Kissed in Glee; spoilers for everything up to Swan Song in Supernatural.

**Pairings**: pre-Puck/Kurt; one-sided Karofsky/Kurt

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 690

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Kurt Hummel is one of Azazel's Special Children. Burt is an Ex-Hunter, who unlike John Winchester is more interested in protecting Kurt then Vengeance (A shotgun isn't all Burt has in the house). Puck is a Demon, set to watch and guide Kurt, but amazingly Puck falls in love, becoming loyal to Kurt -Kurt becomes addicted to Pucks Blood.

**Note**: this entire story is pre-kink, sorry.

* * *

><p>Noah Puckerman died as a baby. Very few people know. The thing in his body, calling itself Puck? It's a demon. Doesn't really have a name, even in Hell. Old friend of Azazel, doing a favor.<p>

See, Sam Winchester is the favorite to win. Has that whole angelic vessel of a brother. Sam was always going to win, if only because his big brother wouldn't accept anything different. And most of the contenders were chumps, anyway.

But Kaitlyn Hummel made a deal and the demon calling itself Puck (now) was bored with Hell. He vaguely remembered a life before, so he wanted to see what life was like in the present day. Azazel held the original negotiations and turned the whole thing over to Puck.

Burt and Kaitlyn Hummel had a son six months after Noah Puckerman died. Burt had retired from hunting when they married, and he didn't know about Kaitlyn's deal. He (probably) never would.

Puck took over the infant Noah's body and made it his own. He studied infants in daycare to see how to act. He didn't torture the parents or the kid sister that came a year before Dad left. He was actually a good brother.

Kids at school, though, were fair game. Especially Kurt Hummel. Every time Puck tormented him, he tried to guess Kurt's ability. He couldn't figure it out.

Then, while Puck and Kurt were in middle school, Azazel died, killed by his favorite's big brother. Puck knew the board was set and Lucifer would be free soon, but he didn't want the world to end anymore. He liked people and food and sex. So while the Winchesters were combating the end, Puck became a pool boy and had fun, and watched while Kurt blossomed.

Puck used to know a few angels, okay? And Kurt Hummel sings a thousand times better. And it might be Stockholm Syndrome or something, but he doesn't like it when Kurt is hurt anymore. Well, he likes the blood and tears, but only when he causes it. And if Karofsky body-checks Kurt one more time, Puck may kill him. It's been awhile since he had fun like that. Almost eighteen years.

Most of the abilities, Puck knows, died with Azazel. But Azazel wasn't the demon who bled in Kurt's mouth. Most of the kids didn't have a demon touch them nearly every day for a decade.

Sam Winchester seals Lucifer in a cage and Karofsky tries to fuck Kurt Hummel, and Puck jerks upright in a chair when Kurt's power comes online.

Kurt is a pyrokinetic, and Karofsky is ash. Puck chuckles, strutting into the locker room. "'sup, princess?" he asks, catching the fire Kurt doesn't mean to throw. "You're a little early, kiddo," Puck says, smiling as Kurt's eyes follow the flame dancing around his fingers.

Karofsky is all over the room. Puck spreads him around, just some more dust in the air.

Kurt's breathing deeply, trying to catch his breath. Puck wants to make him bleed, make him cry, claim him forever.

Azazel is dead. Lucifer is gone. Lilith died a year ago, all part of the plan. Sam Winchester slaughtered Alistair. Crowley is the (second) most powerful demon left and he'll probably take over Hell. Be too busy to track down a demon in a hick Ohio town, even if the last of Azazel's kids is here.

Except, Kurt isn't Azazel's. He's Puck's. So Puck says, "C'mon, let's get out of here," and carefully grabs Kurt's hand.

Kurt lets himself be led from the school, to a park not far from Puck's house. Puck tosses up a shield—nothing alive will bother them. Nothing will see them. They have all the time in the world.

Kurt asks questions, once he calms down. Puck even answers some of them. It'll be awhile before Kurt's comfortable with the idea of demons, of course, but Puck can be patient. He'll teach Kurt, and look out for him, and in a couple years, maybe less, Kurt will be his in all the ways that matter.

Puck may even let Kurt's loved ones live, just to show Kurt he cares.


	3. Better an ignis fatuus

**Title**: Better an ignis fatuus than no ilume at all

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Dickinson

**Warnings**: spoilers for Rumours; future!fic

**Pairings**: pre-Sam/Kurt, Blaine/Kurt

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 450

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: serenity

* * *

><p>Dad goes back to his old job over the summer. Mom goes with him, taking Stacey and Stevie, too. Sam returns to his old school, and it's so much easier than McKinley. Less drama, people he knew pretty well before he left. He joins the Drama Club and doesn't miss football, and pretends he's happy in Tennessee.<p>

Kurt is the only one who emails him, keeping him informed about senior year. Sam's replies are always brief and the jacket he wears the most is the one Kurt gave him. Sometimes he wishes he'd made his move during the duet competition. How much of Kurt's pain could've been avoided if Sam hadn't been afraid?

Doesn't matter, he knows. Sam still would've had to leave, and this way, Kurt still has a boyfriend. Kurt gushed about that, Blaine staying close till Kurt graduates, too.

Blaine's better than Sam for Kurt, anyway.

Senior year passes slowly. Sam manages solid Bs in everything and gets into a good college close to home. He expects Kurt's emails to taper off, but they don't.

Kurt and Blaine go to NYU, and they have a tiny apartment, and then somehow, Kurt does have a bit part in an off-Broadway show, but then he's on Broadway as an understudy, and then Kurt calls Sam as he's leaving his very last final of his first semester at grad-school, and he screams into the phone, "Mitch broke his leg! Actually _broke his leg_!"

"Kurt?" Sam asks. He can hear Kurt hyperventilating.

Kurt takes a deep breath. "Mitch," he says. "Fell down the stairs this morning. Broke his leg." Another deep breath. "I'm his understudy, Sam. Which means I go on tonight. On Broadway."

"Dude, that's awesome!" Sam says, wishing he was able to hug Kurt through the phone.

"I'm sending Dad and Carol tickets," Kurt tells him. "Or rather, I'm holding tickets for them and hoping Dad, at least, can come. Do you—"

"Of course," Sam interrupts. "I'll be there tomorrow. If you have any free time, you can show me all those places you've gushed about over the years."

Kurt hasn't mentioned Blaine in his emails, the past few months. Last thing he'd said had been a fight about one of Blaine's coworkers flirting, and Blaine flirting back. Sam didn't ask, and he won't, but one of his greatest regrets is letting Kurt sing alone their junior year.

He flies to New York, takes a cab to Kurt's apartment, and won't wait anymore. Kurt can tell him to back off, and he'll stay Kurt's friend, but he hopes—

And Kurt hugs him tight, and kisses him back after the show, and Sam has never felt so optimistic about the future.


	4. stab the bird

**Title**: stab the bird—could you catch her last refrain?

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Dickinson

**Warnings**: AU before prom; somewhat sad

**Pairings**: could've been Puck/Kurt; Blaine/Kurt

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 575

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: clue

* * *

><p>Kurt vanishes between lunch and math. He ate with Aretha, and Wheels was in that class, but it's not until glee practice after school that anyone really starts to worry, because that's when he doesn't answer his phone. Finn calls Hobbit, but he hasn't heard from Kurt, either.<p>

Karofsky is still the weight room, so Puck drags Evans and Finn to confront him.

Karofsky's confusion seems genuine, but Puck's finally off probation, so he breaks Karofsky's face, anyway. He only feels slightly better and Kurt's still gone.

That night, Finn lets everyone know Kurt doesn't make it home. At one in the morning, Mr. Hummel goes to the police.

0o0

Weeks pass with no progress. Kurt's just gone and no one can figure where or why. No hints of foul play leave the cops sure he ran away. Anybody who's ever met him, though, knows Kurt wouldn't have left his frou-frou clothes behind, much less his dad.

His SUV is found three towns over, his wallet and phone and dried blood inside it. He's been gone for almost two months. The police don't think he ran away anymore.

0o0

School ends and there's still no explanation for Kurt walking himself out the door and driving away and disappearing. Most everyone has given up. The hobbit doesn't call for updates anymore. Aretha talks in past tense.

Puck convinced Wheels to hack into the cops for him, and Wheels didn't even complain about living up to stereotypes. So now Puck has copies of almost everything the cops know, which is jack-shit about anything. No leads, no theories, no suspects, nofuckingthing. A single detective has the case, and no headway has been made since they found his ride.

Puck refuses to believe this is how Kurt's story ends. He was supposed to make it out of Lima. To become famous, to have the whole world clamoring for his attention. Him and Rachel, they were going places. But Rachel barely sings anymore. Hardly any of them do. Not since Nationals, when Kurt's absence was so fucking painfully obvious, and it broke all their hearts. At least when he was at Dalton, they all knew where he was, and he answered the phone, and sent back sappy texts because he was so in love and _safe_. He was safe at Dalton. They wouldn't have let him vanish from Dalton.

Fuck.

0o0

Senior year starts. Puck breaks the slushy machine. Nobody bothers to fix it. Most of the bullies graduated, and Karofsky hasn't done anything since Kurt came back from Dalton.

The Glee Club is still together, but they only meet to talk about Kurt.

It's been seven months. Even Puck and Finn talk in past tense now.

0o0

When they have the assembly in his honor, Rachel sings "If I Die Young," her first attempt since Nationals. She cries the whole time. She's never sounded better.

0o0

They graduate and all stay in Ohio for college, or whatever. All their plans seem to have dried up. Kurt's been gone for almost as long as most of them actually knew him.

Finn says that Mr. Hummel watches home videos every night. Finn invites them over. Even Santana goes.

A weekly thing becomes monthly, and slowly everyone moves on.

Kurt is gone, and he's forever seventeen, the kid who sang like an angel and had a bitchy comment for every situation, who held his head high and refused to be beaten.

Puck misses him, so fucking much.


	5. live while you can the merciful illusion

**Title**: live while you can the merciful illusion

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from C. Day Lewis

**Warnings**: AUish; homophobic language; takes place immediately after Never Been Kissed

**Pairings**: one-sided Karofsky/Kurt, pre-Blaine/Kurt

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 290

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: yesterday

* * *

><p>Dave skips school the day after he—the day after the fag attacks him with his—his faggy lips. He tells Mom a bug is going around school, a twenty-four hour deal. He'll be fine, just feels like crap.<p>

She's running late for work, so she tells him to take it easy.

He kissed—_no_. The fag kissed him. And he didn't like it. He didn't. He's not a fairy. He likes hockey and football, and he's good at them. He'll get a sports' scholarship out of this town and make something of himself. And he hates the fag for threatening all of that with his—_soft, warm, so good_—faggy lips.

Dave spends the day in bed, bundled in his comforter, convincing himself the world isn't ending. He doesn't eat breakfast or lunch, and Dad brings home barbeque for dinner. Dave doesn't eat that, either.

He dreams about Kurt that night. Dreams about holding hands and lazy kisses, dreams about a love as sure and strong as his parents'. He wakes up happy—and then remembers that Hummel hates him and he hates Hummel, and he isn't a goddamned fag. He's _not_.

He goes to school and doesn't see the fag until lunch, when he and another fairy-boy ambush him on the stairs.

Looking at them just makes him angrier. He remembers his impossible dream, how Kurt felt.

But he's not gay. He _can't_ be. He's getting out of this town, and then maybe—

Maybe.

But first he's got to make sure the fag doesn't tell anyone about the locker room.

And he's got to ignore the impossible dream, because he and Kurt hate each other. Let Kurt have that preppy bastard—the fancy jerk-off is more Kurt's type, anyway.


	6. talk fades

**Title**: talk fades

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Adrienne Rich

**Warnings**: takes place after 2.20

**Pairings**: Blaine/Kurt, unrequited Dave/Kurt

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 275

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: At prom, Dave asks Blaine/Kurt's permission to cut in for a chance to dance with Kurt. Could be fluff with a side of angst. (Klaine, one-sided Kurtofsky)

* * *

><p>In Dave's dreams, prom goes differently.<p>

Sometimes, Kurt smiles at him and takes a deep breath and walks across the floor and asks Dave to dance. Dave blushes, but it's a dream, so he doesn't look around and no one stares and Kurt feels so _good_ pressed against him (it's always a slow dance), and Dave rests his chin on Kurt's head, and the song ends and they pull apart and Kurt smiles up at him, and Dave leans down, and this kiss goes _so much better_.

Sometimes, Dave mans up and cuts a swath across the floor and firmly taps the fancy-pants hobbit on the shoulder. Kurt still smiles, and they dance in each other's arms, and it is the best moment of Dave's life. Kurt (because it's a dream, Dave figures) smells like the cookies Nan used to make, the ones Mom never gets right. And he kisses Dave first, pressing up and taking what he wants, what Dave _wants _him to have, and Dave never ever wants to wake up.

But he always does, and prom had been good, up until Dave ran away. He had his chance, but he watched Kurt's boyfriend man up and dance with him in front of everyone, showing how much _better _he is.

In reality, Dave still escorts Kurt to and from class. Kurt still gives him little pep-talks and assures him coming out won't be the end of the world. Kurt smiles at him, but not the smile he wants, the smile the boyfriend gets.

Dave wants to be Kurt's boyfriend. And in his dreams, he is.

Maybe one day, he'll be Kurt's boyfriend awake, too.


	7. curtain call

**Title**: curtain call

**Disclaimer**: not my characters

**Warnings**: suicidal thoughts—let's say Kurt never transferred

**Pairings**: none

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 390

**Point** **of** **view**: first

**Notes**: these are lyrics I wrote that Kurt might sing, should the situation ever get too dire

* * *

><p>I thought about it again this morning<p>

Before even taking my head off the pillow

I felt the bottle with my hand

Sharp and cold

Sharp and cold

Like a blade

Like what I want every day

.

Just for a moment

A heartbeat and change

I thought about it

And then I pulled my hand away

Maybe tomorrow will be better

That's what I thought this morning

But my bruises have bruises

And now I'm not so sure

.

How long can I be strong

Before I'm just too beaten down?

And no one seems to notice

No one seems to care

Just part of the scenery

Life's just that way

.

And I thought I thought

I was so sure I could do it

Be strong till my star dawns

Keep my head up till I'm outta here

Put this one-horse town in my rear-view

And never look back

Never once look back

.

But now there's a bottle in my hand

Sharp and cold

Sharp and cold

Like a blade

Like what I want every day

.

And don't tell me it'll get better

I already know that

That's what's got me this far

But tomorrow's so far away

And I'm drowning now

I'm tired now

I'm not that strong

.

A whole world is waiting somewhere far from here

But the sky can't be reached from a dumpster

And my eyes are burning from the cold

So don't tell me you're proud that I'm still standing

When you never offered me a hand

When you walk on by and look away

When you don't notice

You don't notice

I'm bleeding more each day

And I can barely be bothered to staunch the flow

.

I thought about it again this morning

And at lunch

And with my ears still ringing from the locker

I don't even want to sing anymore

I'm just so tired

And the bottle the bottle

Sharp and cold

Like a blade

This is the day

.

Tomorrow's so far away

And I'm exhausted now

I can't fight anymore

Too tired for the future

I don't have enough dreams left to last

.

And this is my swan song

My final dive across the sky

There'll be no more curtains

The show is closin' down

This is me goin' goin' gone

If you hear me at all,

Hear me sayin' goodbye


	8. no child will ever call me Papa

**Title**: no child will ever call me Papa

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton; lyrics from "How Do You Get That Lonely" by Blaine Larsen

**Warnings**: character death; takes place after juvie but before 2.8; AUish relationship-wise, I think

**Pairings**: none

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 415

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**:

_How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad  
>To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all<br>Is better than the life that you had  
>How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go<br>How do you get that lonely... and nobody know?_

They don't understand why Puck did it.

* * *

><p>Finn doesn't hear from Puck over the weekend, but that's not unusual, not lately. They'd started hanging out some again, but nowhere near like they used to, and Finn is mostly fine with that.<p>

On Monday, Puck's not at school. Nothing weird there, either. Finn overhears Santana ranting at Quinn, and Quinn's ruthless words in response, about Puck and the hook-up he missed. Maybe that's a bit odd, but Rachel demands attention so Finn gives it.

Puck doesn't show up for glee practice, and that's a little odd, because he's attended every session since he joined. Sometimes, in those dark days after the truth about Beth came out, he only ever seemed happy at practice.

Beth, and juvie, and stuff Finn remembers Puck talking about over the years, it all explodes in Finn's head, sitting in glee and watching Santana cuddle with Brittany (Artie looks sad, but Finn doesn't have time for that, not with the bad feeling in his gut).

"Did anyone hear from Puck this weekend?" he asks. (Noah talked about his dad, and his mom, and his mom's boyfriends, and his pool-cleaning business he started at thirteen. Noah quickly became Puck, and Finn loves Puck, he does. But Noah, man. Noah was something special.)

No one heard from Puck over the weekend. And Finn's been caught up in his own drama; they all have. Everyone has problems. It's probably nothing.

But it could be something. It could be something, and Finn is about to freak out, and now Quinn looks nervous.

She says, "I'll drive."

0o0

Finn doesn't understand, and Mrs. Puckerman hasn't stopped crying in Quinn's arms, and Sarah lunged at Finn and won't let go of his neck, where she's buried her face and keeps begging, "Bring him back, bring him back, bring him back."

Puck left a note. It's short and sweet and explains absolutely _nothing_, and Finn wishes he'd called Puck on Friday, like he'd thought about doing. Invited Puck to play catch or basketball or something. Anything.

What he wonders the most about, though, rubbing at Sarah's back and watching Quinn try to comfort Mrs. Puckerman, is how he didn't notice. Sure, Puck had been weirdly quiet since juvie. Since Beth, actually. And Finn let it go, because of Quinn and Beth and all that drama.

He wants to ask someone if it's his fault, Puck leaving like this. But the one person he'd believe is the one he can't ask. (Noah's been gone a long time.)


	9. Kurt's Song

**Title**: Kurt's Song

**Disclaimer**: not my characters

**Warnings**: suicidal thoughts—let's say Kurt never transferred

**Pairings**: none

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 440

**Point** **of** **view**: first

**Notes**: these are lyrics I wrote that Kurt might sing, should the situation ever get too dire

* * *

><p>Well, here I am again<p>

Bet you didn't think I'd do it

Praying on my knees

Blood is so red

They say there's always God in the trenches

God in a hospital room

But this isn't a war

And I'm not crying

I'm not crying

I'm dying

Dying to say goodbye

.

I've thought about it before of course

Haven't we all?

Considered the pros and cons

Made a list, checked 'em off

Pills are easy

Knives are sharp

Blood is so so red

Hanging would be messy

And it'd be hard to drown myself

I'm not crying

I'm dying

Dying to say goodbye

.

Can't you hear me?

I've said it all before

I've screamed it and sung it

And been ignored

But I'm trying

I'm trying so hard

I had a breakthrough last night

In-between the breakdowns

It's times like that I wish I prayed

Wish I believed

I'm not crying

I'm dying

Dying to say goodbye

.

I had a breakthrough

In-between breakdowns

On the far side of dawn

Nothing I haven't thought before

Nothing I haven't pondered

When my skin is bruised and my heart sore

Would you regret it?

I'm starting to think I won't

Because I'm tired

I'm not crying

I'm dying

Dying to say goodbye

.

I've held my head high

I've never compromised

I've been determined and I've been proud

Determined to escape

To stand strong and see the other side

Things would never end here

I had a plan and a dream

But it won't happen now and it won't come true

I'm not crying

Not a tear on my face

I'm not crying

I'm dying

Dying to say goodbye

.

Do you know my name?

Will you call me,

Wonder when I don't pick up?

This was never my plan

But it seems like maybe

It's time for me to go

I'm so tired

I've made a list of pros and cons

I've checked 'em off

And the pros are winning

And this is my first prayer

I'm not crying

I'm not

I'm sorry Dad

You're the one thing I regret

I'm dying to say goodbye

.

Don't tell me you never heard

Don't tell me this'll be ignored

My last request

Fitting end to the life I lived

I'm not crying

I'm not crying

This is my time

My choice my chance

My goodbye

I'm dying to say goodbye

.

I've lived so loudly

I'll die quietly

Not much fuss, one final song

My last request is that you listen

Listen like you never did before

Don't cry for me 'cause I'm not crying

I'm just dying

Dying to say goodbye


	10. full of wonder and confusion

**Title**: full of wonder and confusion

**Fandom**: Highlander/Glee

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Diane Ackerman

**Warnings**: takes place during late season 2

**Pairings**: mentions of Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 450

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: something involving a Glee character and Queen's "Who Want to Live Forever," prefereably as the character discovers they're immortal..

* * *

><p>"Well, now," he hears. "Isn't this interesting."<p>

Kurt doesn't take his eyes off the douchebag holding a sword to his neck, but the douchebag says, "Go away, or wait your turn. I'll deal with you next."

The new guy laughs. "Are you so new you can't tell he's not even an infant yet? He's still just a preemie."

The douchebag blinks. "What?" he says, lowering the blade. Kurt stays completely still, but the douchebag turns, so Kurt lunges away.

"I'd suggest you run, preemie," the new guy says, and Kurt doesn't even look back as he does.

0o0

An hour later, someone knocks on the door. Dad and Carole are on a date, and Finn's doing something barely legal with Puck. (Kurt is their alibi when they get caught.) Blaine had an emergency practice with the Warblers, so Kurt has been alone in his house, trying not to panic. He hasn't really succeeded.

And now someone is knocking on the door. Kurt stares from around the corner, deciding if he should open it or not. It could be the douchebag. Or worse.

"I know you're there, preemie," he hears. "Open the door before I pick the lock."

Kurt swallows. He doesn't move.

"Fine, then," his earlier savior says, and proceeds to pick the lock.

Looking around for a weapon, just in case, Kurt can't help but hear the guy muttering to himself, something about boy-scouts and delusions of heroism and _goddamn, Duncan, you're contagious, who knew_.

As he steps in, shorter than Kurt expected, but attractively angular and pale, with an unforgettable nose, he says, "Call me Ben, preemie."

"Kurt," Kurt says. "I'm Kurt."

"Cute, too," Ben adds. "Possibly cute enough to survive, though we never can tell about those things, you know?"

Kurt honestly has no reply to that. He feels himself blushing, though. Ben smirks.

0o0

Kurt doesn't believe Ben about the whole immortal thing until Ben cuts his palm with a knife he pulls out of nowhere and it heals instantaneously with little bolts of lightning. He stares for a good while before Ben says, "Look, kid, I'm hungry. You reorder your worldview while I find some food, yeah?"

Ben wanders down the hall, looking for the kitchen, humming—"Really?" Kurt yells after him. "Is that song really appropriate right now?"

Ben laughs, and then he actually starts singing the words.

Kurt sighs, mutters, "What the hell?" and joins in.

_There's no time for us  
>There's no place for us<br>What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us_

_Who wants to live forever_  
><em>Who wants to live forever...?<em>

He'll worry about everything later. For now, he's hungry, too, so he heads for the kitchen.


	11. what mirror to render

**Title**: what mirror to render

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Adrienne Rich

**Warnings**: AUish; dark

**Pairings**: pre-Kurt/Puck

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 290

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: intolerant

* * *

><p>Blood drips into the sink. Kurt's hands are trembling and he avoids looking in the mirror—he knows what he'd see. Adrenaline courses through him, and he's sure that he should regret it, that he should feel bad about it…<p>

But he doesn't. He can't. He's tired of taking it and taking it and _taking it_, and he's done being afraid.

His cell rings, the obnoxious tone that means Noah Puckerman is calling.

(He'd watched with wide eyes and sworn to clean up the evidence. Kurt decided to trust him. There was a new respect in Puck's gaze, and Kurt met it straight-on.)

"On my way," Puck says. "You and me need to have words."

Kurt hangs up and goes back to washing his hands.

He killed a boy tonight. Dad's on a date with Carole; they'll be back late. Finn's out with Quinn. He'll be back later.

And Kurt will be talking to Puck about murder. He can't believe this is happening.

He also can't regret it.

Kurt meets his reflection's gaze and dries his hands. A good host offers refreshments, so he goes downstairs to raid the pantry.

He's done taking harassment and abuse. He's done raising his chin and surviving it. Yeah, he's getting out of this town someday, but he doesn't have to hurt all the time.

Puck lets himself in and Kurt calls, "The kitchen!" He looks up with a smile; Puck's scrubbed clean and he nods, so Kurt knows the scene is, too.

"I had fun tonight," Puck says.

Kurt smiles again, setting a plate of fruit and crackers on the counter in front of Puck. "Me, too," he says.

A heartbeat of silence, then Puck asks, "Any plans to do it again?"

Kurt's still smiling.


	12. And I am a smiling woman

**Title**: And I am a smiling woman

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Sylvia Plath

**Warnings**: spoilers for up till 2.8

**Pairings**: Burt/Carole

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 120

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: For some reason (up to the writer) Kurt calls Carole 'mom'.

* * *

><p>It just slips out sometimes, when he's beyond tired, when he's frustrated (at the world, at school, at himself), when he's been thinking about what he missed out on.<p>

Carole will say something, or make something, or do something, and he'll call her _mom_.

Most of the time, he catches it, and freezes, and apologizes, and runs away, angry at himself for the betrayal.

But sometimes, Carole will just smile at him, and pull him into a tight hug, and caress the back of his head like _she_ used to, back before. And Kurt will clutch Carole in return, and bury his face in her shoulder, and let himself think maybe it's not such a betrayal after all.


	13. here lie the alsorans

**Title**: here lie the also-rans

**Disclaimer**: not my characters

**Warnings**: future!fic; character death

**Pairings**: Karofsky/Puck, unrequited Karofsky/Kurt, mentions of Kurt/OMC

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 605

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Glee, any, "Tall Tales"

* * *

><p>The first year Dave Karofsky coaches football and teaches freshman math at McKinley, he hears about the most successful grad the school ever had: Kurt Hummel. Hummel's on Broadway and headlining record-breaking movies and writing music for all the biggest artists. He has his own fashion line and designs all sorts of shit, and Dave just shakes his head. None of it surprised him.<p>

The second year, Hummel apparently donates enough money to McKinley to keep the arts program running for two decades. Sylvester's successor nearly has an aneurism. Dave laughs.

The third year, Hummel publishes a guide for gay kids on how to survive high-school. The world's a better place, but there are still pockets of small-minded fuckers everywhere; Dave reads the book and tries not to cringe when he gets to the parts that obliquely mention him.

The fourth year, it's been a decade since they all graduated high-school. Dave goes to the reunion. Hummel doesn't.

The fifth year, Hummel wins about a dozen different awards and does a world tour and nearly dies in a plane crash. About a billion people send well-wishes and flowers, and sales of his stuff skyrocket. Dave gives his players a talk about following their dreams instead of their parents', and four players join a club: one drama, one reading, and two glee.

The sixth year, Hummel comes home for seven months. He assures his fans he'll be back; he's just resting. Needs to reconnect with his family. He writes and designs some of his greatest works during those months, and he wanders around Lima ignoring the stares and paparazzi (who, thankfully, lose interest quickly when nothing happens). Dave thinks about approaching him, apologizing again. Maybe asking Hummel for a date. By the time he works up the courage, Hummel's on the way to New York.

The seventh year, Hummel marries a sci-fi writer no one's ever paid attention to and the last state holding-out against gay marriage gives in. Dave reads about the wedding and beats the ever-loving _shit _out of his punching bag. He nearly breaks his right hand.

The eighth year, Dave dates three different men and ignores Hummel the best he can.

The ninth year, Noah Puckerman is hired by McKinley as an English teacher. They sit together at lunch and pretend to have never met before. His second week, Dave asks him out for coffee. Noah says yes.

The tenth year, Hummel has a messy divorce and Dave moves in with Noah.

The eleventh year, Noah takes Dave to the coffee shop where they had their first date and says, "Marry me." Dave smiles and says yes.

The twelfth year, Dave's team wins the state championship and Noah's glee club comes in second at nationals. They celebrate by backpacking across Europe for a month.

The thirteenth year, it's been two decades since graduation. Dave and Noah go to the reunion; so does Hummel. They bump into each other at the punch bowl. Hummel is still the most successful grad McKinley's ever had, and his success just keeps growing. He doesn't look happy, though. They make small-talk and Dave remembers a desperate kiss in a locker-room, and all the fucked up months that followed. He squeezes Noah's hand and gives him a gentle kiss. Hummel smiles sadly, says it was good talking to them, and wanders away.

There is no fourteenth year. Noah buries Dave in the fall and quits McKinley. He heads south, searching for a warmth he never really finds. Meanwhile, in New York, Hummel eats a bullet and achieves immortality.

(Hummel will always be the most successful grad McKinley ever had.)


	14. I'll tell you how the sun rose

**Title**: I'll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Dickinson

**Warnings**: mentions of attempted suicide; so much fluff; AU for season 2

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine, pre-Kurt/Puck, unrequited Karofsky/Kurt

**Rating**: PG  
><strong>Wordcount<strong>: 965

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Puck wasn't in juvie. He was in the hospital for a suicide attempt.

When he comes back, he's quiet. He doesn't speak up in Glee anymore. Not to sing a song by a Jew. Not to make a smart comment. Not for anything.

He only wears long sleeves anymore, covering up the "guns" he used to be so proud of. He doesn't want anyone to see the the scar on his arm that stretches from his wrist to his elbow.

Then Kurt saw the scar.

According to statistics, (and I actually looked this up to make sure I was right) "between one quarter and one third of adolescents who attempt suicide will go on to try again, with the greatest risk for recurrence falling between 6 months and 1 year after their first attempt."

"Give me one month. One month to show you that life is worth living. One month to give you something to live for."

No death, please!

* * *

><p>The first time Puck lets the perfect opportunity for a dirty comment pass by, no one notices it. Or the second, or the third, or the fifteenth. Later, Kurt will feel bad about that, but the whole Karofsky thing is heating up, and his Dad is engaged, and things spiral out of control.<p>

And then Kurt's at Dalton, and doesn't see day in and day out how _wrong_Puck is acting. Not until Finn invites Puck over for the weekend, as an attempt to reconnect with his once-best friend, and Kurt sees him in the hall, still wet from the shower, and the brand-new scar going from his wrist to his elbow. The kind of scar that might be accidental, but more than likely isn't.

"Fuck, Hummel!" Puck yells, turning so that his left arm isn't visible. "Warn a guy."

Kurt isn't supposed to be home. No one is. Finn had an early morning shift at Sheets N Things, and Carole and Dad went on a breakfast date. And Kurt was supposed to have been at Mercedes' until later this morning, but they had an argument about Blaine and he came in late last night (or very early this morning, whichever.)

And usually, Kurt would be very careful about not looking at Puck while he's only wearing a towel, but there are marks on his right arm that are more… fresh. As in, just-now-in-the-shower-fresh. "Puck," he whispers. "Puck, what the hell."

Puck isn't meeting his eyes. So Kurt takes a deep breath and swallows his fear and residual anger, and he says, "Get dressed. Meet me in the kitchen. You have five minutes or I will drag you there by your ear."

He watches Puck trudge away until he slips into Finn's room.

0o0

Kurt throws together a breakfast of toast and fruit and waits. At exactly five minutes, Puck slides into the chair across from him, dressed in long sleeves and jeans. Kurt remembers that Puck quit wearing short sleeves right after he got back from juvie. Another sign everyone missed.

"You never went to juvie," Kurt says. Puck shakes his head and takes a piece of toast. "You tried to kill yourself." Puck nods and spears a strawberry with his fork.

Kurt sags back against his chair. He isn't qualified to deal with this.

A few moments pass in silence. Puck doesn't look at Kurt and Kurt can't look away from Puck. "Will you… have you tried again?"

Puck very carefully doesn't respond and Kurt closes his eyes.

0o0

After breakfast, Kurt herds Puck into his room and softly orders him to sit. Kurt is disgusted with himself and everyone else who knows Puck—how could nobody have noticed how _different_he is? The old Puck would've never let himself be pushed around like this. Never have been so docile, so hesitant, so quiet.

"Give me a month," Kurt says. "A month of you not hurting yourself. Of you not trying to do anything so _final_ again." Puck glances up at him and Kurt says, "A month to give you something to live for. Please, Puck." No, that's not right. "Please, _Noah_."

"And what can _you_ give me, Hummel?" he asks, almost viciously. "Away in your cage with your little bitch-boy. What the _fuck_ can you give _me_?"

Kurt wants to touch him. To hug him. "A friend, Noah," he says. "You've never had someone choose you. This is me, choosing _you_."

Noah blinks at him, and Kurt doesn't think he notices that he's rubbing at his left wrist. "What does that even _mean_?" He sounds honestly bewildered.

"Every weekend, you and I will do something. Four weekends, just me and you. Whatever you want. I reserve, the right, however," he adds, "to take you shopping and buy you something that will look amazing on you."

"And your boy?" Noah asks. "Your family. They won't let you spend time with me."

Kurt shrugs. "No one _lets _me do anything, Noah. I'm Kurt motherfucking Hummel."

That, at least, gets a smile.

0o0

Kurt calls Blaine to cancel their date for that evening. He tells Noah to choose a movie and bundles him into bed, and while Noah watches Optimus Prime save the world, he mentally composes a list of every good thing there is about Noah Puckerman.

It's a longer list than anyone would expect, and he's sure that Noah wouldn't believe half of it. He vows to spend the next four weekends proving them all.

When Finn and their parents get home, Noah is asleep and sprawled all over Kurt. Kurt is slowly running his fingers through Noah's hair; he hasn't had the mohawk since 'juvie', when he shaved his head. Another cry for help that no one noticed, due to never-ending drama.

Before Dad or Finn can freak and kick Noah out the house, Kurt gives them his strongest glare. "I'll explain later," he hisses. "Leave us alone."

Carole drags them both away, with a look over her shoulder that means he _will _explain. Kurt nods.

Noah sleeps all through the evening and into the next morning. He wakes up around dawn and tries to sneak out, but Kurt grabs his hand. "It's the weekend," he says. "You're mine."

"I… are you sure?" Noah asks. Kurt's never seen him this uncertain, this broken. It's just so _wrong_.

"Yes," Kurt says, so strongly Noah is visibly taken aback. "What do you want to do?"

Noah shuffles in place for a moment, still letting Kurt hold his hand. "I, I need to piss," he mumbles. "Then… can we sleep some more? I'm… so tired."

Kurt smiles at him. "Anything you want, Noah."

Noah's smile is barely there, but Kurt sees it. And he won't let Noah go until it's bright enough to light up the world again.


	15. If I could steal one final glance

**Title**: If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Luther Vandross; lyrics from "The Dance" and "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina"

**Warnings**: character death; spoilers for season 2

**Pairings**: post-Blaine/Kurt, Puck/Kurt, unrequited Karofsky/Kurt

**Rating**: PG  
><strong>Wordcount<strong>: 565

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Puck and Kurt have only very recently begun dating and in the car one day Puck's flipping through the radio when he stops for a moment on a country station. The song 'The Dance' is playing and he's like 'LAME!' and starts to change it. Kurt demands he leave it on.

They listen to the song in total silence while Kurt sits there with tears streaming down his face. He confesses that it was him mom's favorite.

A few months later Kurt is killed (car accident, gay bashing, whatever, just something unexpected and angsty) Instead of delivering a eulogy, Puck sings 'The Dance' at the funeral and then breaks down sobbing in Burt's arms.

* * *

><p>"I could talk all day about how awesome he was," Puck says. Finn wipes at his eyes and Rachel leans in closer, tucking her face into his chest. Puck's voice is thick, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I could go on for hours about how he bitched and laughed and fuckin' <em>lived<em> like a BAMF. But one of the things he did best? My boy could sing like a goddamned angel, and so I'm gonna sing his favorite song."

Burt is flat-out sobbing, head buried in his hands. Mom is holding him, and the rest of glee are ranged in the front pews. The funeral home is packed, full of mechanics and Kurt's old dance class and nearly the entirety of their year and all of the Warblers.

Even Karofsky. Finn saw him sneak in the back, but didn't say anything. He's the one who slammed Azimio into a locker and tried to wake Kurt up, before anyone else got there.

Azimio has apologized. Said he didn't mean to shove Kurt so hard. Mom told Finn and Puck that Kurt landed wrong. That was it. Only thing wrong was a bump on the head and that was enough.

But here they are. Kurt's dead and Finn already told everyone to not leave Puck alone for the next few months or he might very well follow.

"I'm gonna sing," Puck says again, and now his voice is strong. "No music, just me and my voice, for my boy."

And he does. He fills up the room, and he's never sounded better, and Finn pulls Rachel into his arms when Puck's voice cracks on, _Hey, who's to say, you know, I might have changed it all_.

Puck collapses when he finishes the final line. Finn's about to go to him when Burt pulls away from Mom and stumbles to the stage. The whole place is dead silent as Burt wraps his arms around Puck and they weep together in front of Kurt's coffin.

Finn wonders if Puck will ever be able to sing again, if any of them will ever want to. Then Rachel murmurs, _it won't be easy, you'll think it strange,_ and Quinn picks it up, then Mercedes and Tina, Blaine and Santana and everyone else from glee and the Warblers. Finn joins in at the first _the truth is, I never left you,_and wishes it were true, that Kurt would sit up and sing, drown them all out.

All their voices fade until only Rachel is singing the last verse. Then Puck hoarsely joins her and finishes it out alone. His voice breaks on _every word is true _and Burt clutches him closer.

Finn wishes that he and Karofsky hadn't pulled Puck off Azimio. Rachel twists her fingers in his shirt and he rests his cheek on her head, and he wants, more than he's ever wanted anything, to wake up and have all of this be the worst nightmare of his life.

(In two weeks, Puck will slip away from Quinn and Mercedes. He'll steal the gun from Burt's safe and go to Kurt's grave, still with a temporary marker in place of a stone. He'll have left a note on Finn's pillow but nothing for anyone else.

Finn will read the single line to Mom and Burt and Rachel, and then he'll break down in tears.

_I'm glad I didn't miss the dance._)


	16. Don't ask me when I learned love

**Title**: Don't ask me when I learned love

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Adrienne Rich

**Warnings**: takes place during senior year; spoilers for season 2

**Pairings**: post-Kurt/Blaine; Kurt/Karofsky

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 490

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Glee, Kurt/Karofsky + Burt, meeting the parents (again)

* * *

><p>"Dad," Kurt says while he takes apart an engine just for fun.<p>

Burt looks up from the invoices; he knows that tone from experience. Kurt's going to ask for something he wants, something Burt _really _isn't going to like. "Yeah, kiddo?" he asks, already steeling himself.

"I—there's a boy," Kurt says, eyes flicking over to Burt before looking back down. "And I really like him, Dad. And I want him to come over and meet you."

Burt sets down his pen and turns in his chair. He stares at Kurt until Kurt looks up again. "A boy from school?" Burt asks. It's only been five months since Blaine and Kurt decided they'd be better as friends. Burt liked Blaine well enough. Probably more than whoever Kurt's about to name.

Kurt nods.

"It's not..." Burt tries not to let his distaste show. "Finn's friend with the mohawk, right?"

Kurt's entire body recoils. "Eww, no!" he says, shuddering. "Ugh. Puck's made massive strides in being a human, but I can't ever see myself dating him." He pauses, before musing, "He is gorgeous, though. Such a shame."

"Who is it, then, Kurt?" Burt asks.

"Well," Kurt stalls, "you _have _met him, Dad. A few times. And he's so much better than he used to be, and he really is a sweetheart when he's not panicking, and he's terrified that you're going to shoot him on sight."

Oh, _shit_. "No," Burt growls, hands clenching. "Not just no, but _hell no_." He tries to stay calm, he really does. "You are not dating that Karofsky boy, not _ever_."

"Um." Kurt looks away again, and he's clearly fighting his own temper to keep from saying something truly vicious. "We've been dating for three weeks, Dad."

Burt sags back against his chair. "He said he'd _kill _you, Kurt. You remember that? Chased you outta your own school for months." Seriously, how the hell did this happen? When did they even spend enough time together for this to happen? Burt knew he should've taken his flamethrower to that school, and strangled Karofsky when he had the chance.

"Dad," Kurt says softly, and he walks over to wrap his arms around Burt. "He's really been trying. He's so different now. A lot of what happened… well, he's come to terms with some things, and I want you to meet him as he is _now_. The boy his dad talked about in that meeting right before I left Dalton."

Burt looks up at him, at this man his son is growing into. "You really like him?"

Kurt smiles. "I really do, Dad."

Sighing, Burt stands and pulls his boy into a proper hug. "Bring him by on Saturday," Burt says. "I'll sit him down for a good talking to."

Kurt bounces in place and presses a quick kiss to Burt's cheek, before skipping back to the engine. He starts belting out that loud "Bad Romance" song and Burt can't help smiling.


	17. What hurts is not your absence only

**Title**: What hurts is not your absence only

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Denise Levertov

**Warnings**: future!fic

**Pairings**: mentions of Blaine/Kurt

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 220

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Kurt had always dreamt about leaving Lima for New York.

Then he realises that leaving Lima means leaving his mother.

(so basically; Kurt angsts over the fact that after going to New York, he can no longer visit his mother's grave)

* * *

><p>Kurt's had a standing date for eight years: every Sunday he visits his mother's grave. Dad used to go with him, but he stopped once Kurt had his own vehicle.<p>

Ever since he realized he could leave Lima, he's been counting down the days. And now, it's only months away.

But he's just realized he'll be _leaving Lima_.

He'll be leaving Mama.

0o0

He doesn't talk to anyone about it, of course. Everyone has their down drama; the gleeks, glocks, and gleerios will all be going to different colleges, the ones who are leaving Lima. Only Kurt and Rachel are going to New York. Brittany, Santana, Puck, and Finn are staying home. Blaine's in California.

Kurt sits down before his mother's stone and sings, _you are my sunshine, my only sunshine_, and plants a daisy on her grave.

"A part of me does want to stay," he says quietly. "I'll miss you, our weekly chats." He turns around, careful of the flower, and leans against the stone. "But you're not this piece of ground, Mama. You're with me, wherever I am, and I can't stay in Lima anymore." He hums for a few minutes, murmuring a few of the words.

He stays until the sun sets. He'll come back the day before he leaves, to say goodbye. Then he's gone.


	18. this ain't a fairytale

**Title**: this ain't a fairytale

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Taylor Swift

**Warnings**: future!fic; Blaine never existed

**Pairings**: post-Puck/Kurt

**Rating**: PG  
><strong>Wordcount<strong>: 445

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Puck/Kurt set to White Horse by Taylor Swift

* * *

><p>Kurt always knew it wasn't forever. It was obvious, really. High school romances rarely lasted, not when the real world came calling. He was always leaving Lima, meant for bright lights and city nights, for something bigger and better than a one-horse, homophobic town in Ohio.<p>

But for awhile, he let himself believe. Puck had come such a long way since dumpster dives. Amazing how far, really. They actually walked down the hall holding hands. Actually kissed on the front steps. No one dared touch Kurt while he was Puck's. Six months of perfection.

Six months. That's how long it took Puck to stray. And it shouldn't hurt so much, because everyone warned him that Puck had a wandering eye.

And now it's the week before finals, their senior year. Kurt's already been accepted to NYU, and then he's out of Lima. Lima'll be a speck in the rearview and he'll get his bright lights, his city nights, freedom to do anything and be anyone he wants.

He hasn't spoken to Puck in three months, not since he found him _in flagrante delicto_. Puck quit trying to apologize two months and seventeen days ago, when he found himself a girl (not even the one he'd cheated with!) and proceeded have a tongue-war with her in every public location he could think of.

But now, the week before finals, when Kurt can actually see his freedom, Puck shows up at his house and falls to his knees, and begs forgiveness. Says he's so sorry, and such a dumbass, and always ruins everything, and Kurt's the best thing to ever happen to him, and please, please, take him back.

Kurt stares down at him, completely at a loss for words. It's nothing Puck hasn't said before, almost three months ago. And he wants to believe him, really he does. But New York is within sprinting distance now, and Puck…

Puck is not his Prince Charming. He's always known he wouldn't find Prince Charming here, in Lima.

So Kurt promises to think about it and shuts the door in Puck's face.

Mr. Schue tells them their last assignment is to sing goodbye songs to someone in the club. Kurt asks to go last.

He cheers all the other graduating seniors for their songs, even Puck's, and then stands before his friends. He asks Brad and the band for no accompaniment, and then he locks gazes with Puck and doesn't look away until the last note of

_Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa  
>Try and catch me now<br>Oh, it's too late  
>To catch me now<em>

fades away. Puck clenches his jaw and lowers his eyes.

Even Puck can't mistake that answer.


	19. homebase

**Title**: homebase

**Disclaimer**: not my characters

**Warnings**: future!fic

**Pairings**: none

**Rating**: PG  
><strong>Wordcount<strong>: 150

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Glee, Kurt/Finn, Bear Hug

* * *

><p>Finn and Dad meet him at the airport; they're waiting at the luggage carousel, talking about the previous night's football game. Kurt tries to sneak past them, but Dad says, "Ah, ah, kiddo," and Finn snakes out one his arms to grab him.<p>

Kurt doesn't even fight it, just lets Finn reel him in and scoop him completely off the ground. "Yes, Finn," he mutters, patting his brother's back. "Glad to see you, too."

Once Finn releases him, Dad pulls him into a hug; Kurt hugs back, pressing a kiss to Dad's cheek.

"C'mon, let's beat the traffic," Dad says after Kurt points out his single bag of luggage and Finn snags it for him. "Carole and Mercedes've planned a massive party for you."

Kurt smiles, lightly shoving Finn to the side, and asking Dad what else is in store.

It is good to be home, take a breather, and just _be_.


	20. how heedless were the eyes

**Title**: Alas, how heedless were the eyes on whom the Summer shone

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Dickinson

**Warnings**: AU at end of sophomore year; character death

**Pairings**: shades of pre- Puck/Finn here. Could just be two boys clinging to each other in grief, I'm not entirely sure.

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 770

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**:

By now Will Schuester is fairly used to walking into the choir room, auditorium or really anywhere in the school and finding one of his kids singing their heart out to an invisible audience. Most of the time he pulls them aside afterward to ask what's wrong, or gives them the applause they deserve. But this last week has been pretty intense, and he's exhausted, and even when he finds Kurt Hummel on his knees on the stage singing his heart out, Will can't help but think maybe he'll let this one time go until tomorrow. After all, he's tired and he has Spanish papers to grade, and maybe if he's lucky he can have a beer while he harvests his Farmville crops before bed.

He closes the door silently and walks away as Kurt's final note rings in his ear.

And back on that stage, on his knees while his slit wrists bleed, Kurt can't help but think that his last performance was certainly his best. It was just a pity no one had been there to see it.

* * *

><p>On Thursday morning, school is cancelled. Nobody is sure why—one of the more prevalent rumors says a dead animal was found in the auditorium, something big. Maybe a moose.<p>

Mercedes tries to organize a girls' day in for the glee girls, but no one can get ahold of Kurt.

.

Friday, school is still cancelled and Finn is incommunicado, too.

.

But early Saturday morning, before the sun is even up, Puck's phone goes off, the annoying jingle he set as Finn's ringtone.

"What the fuckin' hell?" he mutters as he answers, barely awake.

"I know we haven't really been friends lately," Finn says, voice shaky. "But I need you, man. I really fuckin' need you."

"Finn, dude," Puck says, wide awake now. "What's wrong?"

"I… why would he do it?" Finn asks, sobs overtaking the words. "He was supposed to get out of this place. He was better than this, than _us_."

"Finn!" Puck yells, lunging out of bed and pulling on the first jeans he sees, the first shirt.

"Kurt killed himself," Finn says. "On Wednesday. In the auditorium."

Puck drops the phone.

.

Finn is in the den when Puck gets to the Hudson-Hummel house. Mr. Hummel is nowhere to be seen; Carole is baking. "Mom's been making stuff since yesterday," Finn tells Puck, voice bleak, tears on his face. "Burt hasn't left me and—the basement."

Puck drops down next to him and pulls Finn into his arms. "Who else knows?" he asks.

"The teachers," Finn says. "The cops. You."

"Oh, shit," Puck mutters. "I don't… I don't get it. Why?"

Finn just cries. Puck just holds him. Carole bakes. Mr. Hummel doesn't come up from the basement.

.

Sunday dawns with rain. Puck sends his fellow gleemates a text because he can't handle nine calls with the same words. He ignores his cell after the text is sent, kidnaps Finn's, and leaves the Hudmel phone off the hook.

He still hasn't seen Mr. Hummel. He, Finn, and Carole have brownies for breakfast, snickerdoodles for lunch. He bunked with Finn in the master bedroom, the first time since junior high, while Carole slept on the couch, waiting for Mr. Hummel to come up.

.

Monday, Carole tells Mr. Hummel the arrangements she made. Puck and Finn skip school, go to a park on the edge of Lima, and flop down on the grass, looking up at the sky.

Principal Figgins announces at an assembly that Kurt Hummel killed himself Wednesday evening.

Mercedes calls Kurt, calls Finn, flees school in tears, the rest of the club on her heels.

.

The funeral is on Wednesday. Only Finn, Puck, and Mercedes have been gone from school all three days, but the whole club, most of the Cheerios, and half of the sophomore year attend.

Mr. Hummel cries. Finn clings to his mom and Puck, ignoring everyone else. Coach Sylvester reads the eulogy; by the end, tears pour down her face.

No one can find a note.  
>.<p>

_On Wednesday evening, as he was leaving school, tired and annoyed and with a headache pounding away, Will Schuster heard Kurt singing in the auditorium. He listened as Kurt finished "__Don't Cry For Me, Argentina__"; he looked in the door and saw Kurt kneeling on the floor, arms slack and head down as the final line echoed around him._

_Will thought about going up to the stage, talking to Kurt, asking if anything was wrong. But his head hurt, and Kurt was so difficult at the best of times. And Kurt was tough. He'd be fine._

_So Will went home._

_On Thursday morning, he collapsed when he heard the news._

_(He'll wonder till the day he dies if he could've saved Kurt Hummel that night.)_

_._

_Kurt slashed his right arm first, with the sharpest knife from his kitchen, elbow to wrist. He sang half the song, then slashed the other, and finished his final performance._

_For the last verse, he let himself drop to his knees._

_He knew it was the best performance of his life, and he imagined a full house and cheering that raised the roof, and then he closed his eyes._

_._

_On Thursday morning, a janitor called 911. The police called Burt Hummel, and he was with Carole Hudson when he answered._

_Kurt's phone had ninety-seven missed calls when Finn checked it a week later. He listened to the thirty-nine voicemails, read the one hundred and seventeen texts, and kept crying._

_Puck was with him all the way. He didn't talk to anyone else._

_._

_Will Schuster quit McKinley on the Friday after the funeral. He never told a soul why._


	21. I thought I was wounded

**Title**: I thought I was wounded to the core but I was only bruised

**Fandom**: Glee

**Disclaimer**: not my characters

**Warnings**: attempted suicide

**Pairings**: Kurt/Puck

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 235

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: The first time Puck said "I love you" was in his suicide note.

* * *

><p>He's been sitting beside the bed for six hours now. Dad's outside talking to Mrs. Puckerman, Carole and Finn took Sarah to the cafeteria, and Kurt knows that Noah will be fine. Physically, anyway. He'll wake up sore, and his arms will scar. Badly. But he'll be alive.<p>

Kurt's fingers clench on the paper, stained with two people's tears. Noah's alive, but he almost wasn't. He almost succeeded.

Kurt's reread the letter a dozen times since he sat down. Last night, he read it in the waiting room. He read it while Dad drove him to the hospital, after he found Noah.

He found Noah. He'll never forget it.

Five sentences. Addressed to Kurt; there was another for Mrs. Puckerman, another for Sarah, one for Beth. Kurt doesn't know what those say. Doesn't want to know.

The letter Noah wrote for Kurt is short, simple, and sweet:

_You deserve better. I'm so sorry for all the stupid shit I've done. This isn't your fault, dude; I've been feeling like crap, and angry, and sad, for so long now… I promise, this isn't your fault, babe. You're the second best thing I've ever done._

_I love you._

The first time Noah says it, it's the last thing Kurt was meant to see. Once Noah's feeling up to it, Kurt's going to slap him silly.

But for now, Kurt's sitting beside the bed, holding Noah's hand, rereading the words.


	22. gain glory or die

**Title**: gain glory or die

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Beowulf

**Warnings**: early to mid-season 1

**Pairings**: none

**Rating**: PG

**Point of view**: third

**Wordcount**: 160

**Prompt**: Glee, Kurt/Mercedes (friendship or relationship), she thinks that it's about time he gets a solo

* * *

><p>Listening to Rachel sing <em>another<em>song flawlessly but emotionlessly, Mercedes decided she'd had enough.

She leaned over to Kurt and whispered, "Hey, boo, why don't you get up there and show her how it's done?"

Kurt looked at her, then around at the chairs near them: Quinn was glaring at Rachel, Santana was texting someone (probably Puck, by the leer on his face), and Brittany was nodding off.

"I know you know this song," Mercedes continued. "You sang it yesterday."

"Schue will slap me down," Kurt muttered.

"You sing better than her, and we all know it," Mercedes said. "Now, get up there and prove it."

Rachel finished, striking a pose and waiting for applause that only Finn gave her. Mercedes glared at Kurt; he met her eyes, nodded, and stood.

"Mr. Schue, if I may?" he asked and sauntered to the middle of the room after Schue nodded.

Kurt took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and sang.


	23. The world is made of days

**Title**: The world is made of days

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Denise Levertov

**Warnings**: AUish

**Pairings**: Puck/Kurt

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 150

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Glee, any, "You didn't know it, but that first day you talked to me and asked to hang out: that was the day I was going to commit suicide."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Hummel," Puck calls over his shoulder as the glee guys walk out. "You comin' or what, dude?"<p>

The gleek looks up, eyes wide. "What?" he says, looking at Aretha then back to Puck. "I'm invited?"

"You do have a dick, right?" Puck asks, raising an eyebrow. Hummel nods, blushing. "Then you're a guy. So c'mon!"

Hummel stands, smoothing down his clothes, grabs his bag, and hurries to Puck's side.

.

(In three years, Kurt will turn over in bed to face Noah, reach out to caress his cheek, and confess that he had planned to kill himself more than once, but the day he'd finally worked up the nerve, Puck invited him over for pizza and bad movies with the glee guys.

Noah will swallow, pull Kurt in and hold him tight, and whisper, _dude, I almost didn't_, and he won't let Kurt go for the rest of the night.)


	24. Maybe I could rest beneath your smile

**Title**: Maybe I could rest beneath your smile

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Dierks Bentley

**Warnings**: animal AU; a smidge of non-con; so much fluff

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine, unrequited and unwanted Karfosky/Kurt

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 1920

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**:

This is based off a drawing called "Bulldog Dave" done by Muchacha11, the artist formerly known as Prince Muchacha10. The drawing depicts dog!Blaine protecting cat!Kurt from the mean bulldog!Dave. I'd like Kurt to be wandering alone when Dave starts harrassing him; growling/barking, biting at him, and maybe if you could include the animal equivalent of the kiss? Not necessary though, because I'm not even sure what that would be (licking his face?). He picks up Kurt with his teeth, and is about to drop him in the trash when Blaine comes and saves Kurt. Then they fall in love and are very cutesy and fluffy together. For the sake of this prompt, the animals can communicate with each other.

* * *

><p>He adopted the Hummel-humans when he was still just a kitten. Katie-human had softer hands and smelled better, but Burt-human cuddled the best.<p>

They named him Kurt. He graced them with his presence and sunbathed on their porch.

0o0

The Anderson-humans moved in during Kurt's second summer with the Hummel-humans. Burt-human laughed with the Anderson-male-human and Katie-human shared food tips with the Anderson-female-human, and their yappy-puppy chased shadows around their yard.

When the puppy paused to collapse in a sunbeam, Kurt stalked his way to the nearest tree and peered carefully down. One of the shiny birds yelled at him, but Kurt ignored her.

"Hey, hey, hey!" the puppy called up at him, jumping to his feet and dancing around the base of the tree. "Kitty-cat, hey!"

"Is all that noise necessary?" Kurt replied, stretching out on the branch and flicking his tail.

The puppy laughed, trying to run up the tree. When he fell backwards, landing in a heap, Kurt laughed, too.

"I'm Blaine!" he said. "The Anderson-humans adopted me! They're totally awesome! And they feed me human-food. Kitty-cat, human-food is the _best_."

Kurt sighed, resting his head on his paws. Dogs were exhausting.

0o0

The puppy yapped and yapped and yapped. Katie-human cooed over him and offered the Anderson-female-human tips on fussy babies. Kurt would've been offended, except he was too annoyed at the puppy, who kept yelling, "Kitty-cat, hey! Hey, kitty-cat! Play, play, play!"

Over and over and _over_. Burt-human grumbled and stomped around the house, and didn't want to cuddle because the puppy interrupted his sleep.

So the second day, Kurt went back to the tree and hissed down at the puppy to stop whining so loudly.

"Play!" the puppy howled.

Kurt studied the puppy with an assessing eye. Kurt was bigger than him, and definitely meaner.

"Do you promise to stop being so loud?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!"

Kurt carefully climbed down, batted Blaine across the nose, and rushed away. After a shocked moment, Blaine followed.

0o0

Of course, Blaine was a puppy. And puppies grew. Anderson-male-human and Anderson-female-human became Greg-human and Maria-human, and Kurt's Katie-human left her easy job for one that gave her stress and more hours, and Burt-human spent more time away from the house at his own job because the stinky-place where he healed cars needed more room.

The second summer the Anderson-humans and Blaine lived next door, the third summer Kurt was with the Hummel-humans, Kurt spent most of his time in Blaine's yard. He waited every morning until all the humans were gone, and then he'd lead Blaine to the secret door and they'd explore the block.

Blaine was bigger than Kurt now, nearly twice his size. And he'd keep getting bigger, Kurt knew. But Kurt was still meaner, and Blaine had settled down some from his excitable puppy days.

And Kurt would never _tell_Blaine, but Blaine totally cuddled better than Burt-human.

0o0

There were seven houses on the same street as Kurt and Blaine's, and all but one had human-owners. Eight cats and five dogs shared the territory, and most of them were bearable. The Hudson-humans, on the other side of Kurt's home, had a humongous dog named Finn and a sleek cat named Quinn. Kurt ignored them, mostly. Ever since Finn's idea of play, from Kurt's early days with the Hummel-humans, had left him with ruffled fur and _dirt_all over him, he left them alone. The house just past Blaine's had three cats: Santana, Brittany, and Mercedes. Mercedes had been Kurt's go-to companion before Blaine, but now she mostly visited the yellow dog across the road, Sam. Next to Sam, there were two cats: Rachel and Tina. Tina was nice enough, though shy; Rachel was as loud as Blaine had been in the beginning and she never got better. The last house on the street had two dogs and two cats: Puck and Mike were almost as big as Finn, Matt was shyer than Tina, and Artie was missing one of his front legs. He spent most of his time in the house, so Kurt never saw him that much.

The house without dogs or cats had a room full of nothing but birds; Kurt had watched through the window for days at a time. The two most talkative had actually rested on the ledge inside the window and chatted at him a few times, so he knew more about warblers than he'd ever wanted to. Blaine liked them, though.

And then there was Dave. His home-territory was between Rachel's and Puck's. He wasn't as tall as Finn, the tallest dog Kurt had ever seen, but he was wider.

On their very first tour of the territory, Kurt told Blaine to avoid Dave whenever possible. He was dangerous. He'd nearly ripped Kurt's leg off, the only time Kurt ever went in his yard. And he watched Kurt, every time Kurt walked across the fence or roof. Watched him, and licked his lips.

Kurt didn't tell Blaine that, though.

0o0

Blaine kept growing, until he was bigger than Puck, Sam, and Mike, but hadn't quite reached Finn's height or Dave's width. When winter rolled around and it snowed, instead of staying inside like he had both previous winters, he snuck into the Anderson-human's house and snuggled with Blaine.

Katie-human and Maria-human kept cooing about it. Burt-human shook his head and Greg-human snickered into his hand. Kurt ignored them all and buried his face in the ruff of Blaine's shoulder.

0o0

It was raining the morning Maria-human loaded Blaine into the car and drove away. Blaine had grumbled about a visit to the stinky-cold place and nuzzled Kurt goodbye, tongue lolling out as he hopped into the back.

Everyone else was in their houses that morning. But Burt-human was at work, and Katie-human was shouting into her phone about a problem at the office, and Kurt didn't want to mope around missing Blaine.

He waited for a slight break in the rain and then climbed out the fence to jump onto the Anderson-human's roof, and he went for a walk.

It started raining harder while he was jumping from Rachel's house to a tree in Dave's yard. He hit the branch, clawing for a grip, and it snapped. He landed on his feet, of course, but it _hurt_, so he sat down quickly and tried to twist, examine his back leg. But even moving that much hurt.

And then he heard Dave: "Hey, puss, what you doin' here?"

Oh, no.

Kurt snarled at him, attempted to back away, and collapsed. He'd broken something in the fall, and he was wet and cold, and now Dave was standing over him, sniffing at his neck. Kurt slashed at him with all his front claws, but Dave just dodged and laughed.

"I've missed you, puss," Dave said, leaning down again, nosing at Kurt until he fell back, underbelly on fully display. Kurt whimpered, trying to roll into a ball and protect himself, but he just hurt _so much_.

And then Dave licked him across the face. Nibbled at his neck. And it was still raining, and Kurt was soaked to the bone, and now Dave was licking at his belly and chuffing a low laugh.

Kurt hadn't been this scared since before he was Kurt, back when he was a kitten Burt-human found on the highway.

"Please, Dave," he whined, trying to roll away again. "Stop."

Howling filled the night. Blaine, calling for Kurt. Puck and Mike took up the howl, telling everyone that Kurt was in Dave's yard—and he smelled terrified. Sam joined in, yelling to be let out, but no humans were home. It was the middle of the day.

"Blaine!" Maria-human shouted. "Blaine, come back! Heel! Stop!"

Dave was focused on Kurt. Blaine knew all the secret ways into and out of yards, because Kurt hadn't thought to hide them. He'd told Blaine everything he knew.

And Blaine ran into Dave at full speed, snarling like Kurt had never heard him.

"Blaine!" Maria-human screamed. And then, "Oh, fuck, _Kurt_. Katie!"

0o0

Kurt never remembered much past that. He spent some time at the stinky-cold place and the stinky-cold-humans put something on his back leg so that he couldn't move it. His humans yelled at the Karofsky-humans, Rachel told him later. A lot of yelling.

Mercedes came over and curled up next to him in the sunlight. After a nap, she helped him bathe, to wash away the stench of the stinky-cold place. She explained that Blaine would be by later, after a strange-human finished examining him.

He and Dave had nearly torn each other apart, she whispered. And Dave had bitten Maria-human. He'd backed off, though, the moment he realized a human was there, but strange-humans were involved now, and Blaine couldn't come until they were done.

"I want Blaine," Kurt cried into Mercedes' fluffy belly. "I want him _right now_."

"I know, boo," Mercedes purred, gently licking his shoulder. "Just soak up the sun. He'll be here soon."

0o0

Kurt woke up to Burt-human's hands carefully lifting him, relocating him to a pillow. "Hush, boy," he said, and that was when Kurt realized Blaine was darting around Burt-human's legs, whining. "Just a minute, kiddo," Burt-human said, but his voice was as gentle as his hands.

The moment Kurt was on the pillow, Blaine settled on the floor beside him, his head next to Kurt's, and he said, "You're okay, right, Kurt? You're safe, and you're okay, and you're not ever leaving the house again, because there are dangerous dogs out there, and they'll hurt you, and you're broken, Kurt, the humans had to put you back together, and I couldn't rip out Dave's throat because Maria-human was there, and _Kurt_."

He had to stop to breathe, and he was panting, the force of his chest actually shifting Kurt's pillow. He was frantic. Kurt had never seen him like that before.

"_Blaine_," he said. Blaine blinked at him with those big brown eyes and lowered his ears. "Blaine," Kurt said again. "I'll heal. And I'll be on the roofs and up the trees again." He nuzzled against Blaine, purring, and Blaine sighed.

"I was just… you didn't _see_, Kurt. And I can't—I can't forget. You weren't moving. You were just crumpled on the ground, and Dave's so big, and I couldn't…" He tapered off, scooting in as close as possible, and then he murmured, "Can I kiss you, Kurt?"

For just a moment, Kurt was back in Dave's yard, and it was raining, and Dave's tongue was on him, and Dave was laughing.

But then Kurt remembered a yappy puppy, and cuddles in the sun, and he whispered, "Yes."

Blaine nuzzled his neck, then gently licked his face, and it was nothing like Dave at all.

0o0

All the neighborhood cats were in Kurt's backyard the day the stinky-cold human took the thing off his leg. After their humans were all gone, Quinn went for Finn, Mercedes for Sam, and Matt for Mike and Puck.

"Good to see you movin' around again, little dude," Puck told him, and Sam added, "I'd've torn Dave's throat out, if Sara-human had let me out."

Kurt said, "Thank you all, but please, Dave's in enough trouble. I just…" He shivered. "I'll go completely around his territory from now on."

"Now," Rachel said, "we should tell Kurt our plans."

Looking at Mercedes, Kurt asked, "Should I be worried?"

She giggled. Blaine flopped down next to Kurt, licked his shoulder, and promised, "I'll protect you."


	25. Venus is taught with Dian's wings to fly

**Title**: Venus is taught with Dian's wings to fly

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Sidney

**Warnings**: AU

**Pairings**: Kurt/Mercedes, Kurt/OMCs

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 445

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Glee, Kurt/Mercedes (friendship or relationship), He looks at her sometimes and wonders how things might have been if he was different. He thinks he likes it.

* * *

><p>In another world, where Kurt kept parts of himself tucked tightly away, where he wore flannel and his father's trucker hats and rarely spoke, where he never sang, he was befriended by a boisterous girl named for her father's first paycheck in his corner office.<p>

Kurt stayed in the background; Mercedes made sure the world noticed her. She entered the room and people looked up, while Kurt followed in her wake.

They experimented together, went to college in New York together, moved in together, and married a year after Mercedes graduated law school. Kurt had a communication studies degree and a job he hated; Mercedes became a lawyer, focusing on children's rights. They barely saw each other.

Kurt thought he was happy. Mercedes knew he wasn't. So after a long week at the office, when they were both worn down and weary, she swept him into a whirlwind vacation and took him to California, leaving their dreary apartment in the dust.

Pretty boys flirted with Kurt beneath California's sun; Mercedes grinned, sipping her daiquiri by the pool. After a quick glance at Mercedes and seeing her nod, Kurt let himself flirt back.

In their room the next morning, Kurt pulled Mercedes into a passionate kiss and thanked her. "You're the best girl a boy could have," he told her.

"I just want you happy," she replied, staring up at him, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Are you happy, Kurt?"

He thought for a moment, leaning down to kiss her again. "I am, Sadie. I promise."

When they went home, Kurt sang in the shower and the kitchen and the den as he slaved over information for a boss he didn't like. Mercedes got caught up in a nasty case that couldn't end happily no matter what, and Kurt listened to her rant, and finally he sat her down, put a bowl of chocolate mousse in front of her, and said, "Are you happy, Mercedes?"

She thought for a moment, looking at her mousse. "No," she said quietly.

"Neither am I," he admitted, dipping his finger in the mousse and licking it off. "What are we doing here?"

Mercedes shrugged.

Kurt set aside the bowl and grabbed her hands, waiting until she looked him in the eye. "Sadie," he said, "let's go to California."

She nodded, starting to smile.

They left behind their dreary apartment, jobs that would break them before long, and lives they'd never wanted.

Kurt flirted with pretty boys but always went home to Mercedes. He found a new job, a better job; Mercedes decided to teach. And on the weekends, they'd go to karaoke bars and light up the stage.


	26. the sound of voice saying I told you so

**Title**: the sound of voice saying I told you so

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Richard Siken

**Warnings**: future!fic; implied child molestation

**Pairings**: Kurt/Puck, Puck/OFCs, Puck/OMCs, Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 535

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Any, any, my best friend's brother is the one for me

* * *

><p>Finn and Puck (still Noah then) met in first grade, proceeded to bond over not having fathers, and were inseparable after that. They argued about superheroes and cartoons and whether wildebeest or moose were cooler, but nothing really ever came between them, until sophomore year and Quinn and Beth.<p>

It wasn't until senior year that they were tight like they used to be, when Puck spent the night and crawled into Finn's bed and finally told him just why his dad left all those years before.

Finn didn't kick him out or freak, just pulled Puck into his arms and let him cry.

And then, when Puck didn't think he had any tears left, he murmured a confession about why he had bullied Kurt so much. He expected Finn to shove him away in disgust and big-brother fury, but Finn just chuckled and said, "Dude, I figured that out ages ago."

After that night, they were inseparable again.

0o0

Kurt left Lima, of course. He was too big for a small town, meant for bright lights and city nights. Rachel went with him, both bound for New York. Blaine joined them a month later, but Finn stayed in Lima, with Mom and Burt, and Puck asked if he could pick up some shifts at the garage, and he turned out to be almost as good as Kurt when it came to taking engines apart and putting them back together better.

Puck dated women for a couple years, and then he brought a college kid by, a boy in town for a few nights. The kid's name was Greg, and he was a communications major, and he laughed at Puck's jokes and blushed at Puck's smiles, and Finn hadn't seen Puck that happy in a long time.

They tried the long-distance thing for a while, until Puck quit emailing Greg back. Finn asked why, but Puck just shrugged.

Three months later, it was a Breadstix waiter named Tom. Early the next year, it was a guy from 'fight club,' a dude who called himself Alpha. He didn't last long, and Finn didn't like him.

At the start of the summer, when Kurt came home for a break from his career, Puck asked people to call him Noah again.

0o0

Finn had known Noah for a long time. He could tell when Noah was crushing. And Noah had already admitted he'd crushed on Kurt all through freshman year.

So when Kurt came home, Noah spent all his not working at Finn's apartment, just hanging around and waiting for Kurt to notice him. It was kinda pathetic, really. Kurt clearly had no idea what was going on, and Finn wasn't about to tell him.

Early in August, just before Kurt went back to New York, he kicked Finn out of the kitchen while he talked to Noah.

Long-distance worked this time.

0o0

Later, much later, after the wedding and two adopted kids and half a dozen awards and Noah working his way up a New York garage to running the whole enterprise, Finn would just smirk and say he knew the whole time.

Kurt would smile up at Noah through his lashes, and Noah would laugh, pulling him in for a kiss.


	27. Dreams spiral birdwinged overhead

**Title**: Dreams spiral birdwinged overhead

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Adrienne Rich; poem excerpts are mine

**Warnings**: slightly AU; takes place before season 1; suicidal thoughts

**Pairings**: canon

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 1150

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Any, any, this is the first day of my last days

**Note**: the poem Kurt writes can be found in chapter 7

* * *

><p>He makes the plan on Saturday. It's been in the back of his mind for awhile, maybe even since Mama died. He feels like a coward as he details it all out in his notebook, behind angsty poetry and fashion sketches. It might be found, after.<p>

This'll hurt Dad, he knows it will, but there's nothing else to do. He knows that life will get better, someday. But someday is so far away, and he has to live in now, and now? Now, he can't stand it anymore.

In the margin, next to the bullet point (and, ha, _bullet_point) about wearing white so the contrast is sharper, he jots down quick lyrics:

_Just for a moment_  
><em>A heartbeat and change<em>  
><em>I thought about it<em>  
><em>And then I pulled my hand away<em>  
><em>Maybe tomorrow will be better<em>  
><em>That's what I thought this morning<em>  
><em>But my bruises have bruises<em>  
><em>And now I'm not so sure<em>

He plans it all out on Saturday.

0o0

On Sunday, he goes grocery shopping, and he drags Dad with him. (Well, Dad has to go too because Kurt doesn't have a car yet. Next year, Dad promised. For his sixteenth birthday.)

Kurt stocks up on everything and waves away Dad's protests about how they'll never be able to eat all that. He's going to spoil Dad this week.

Dad will find the plan later, and he'll understand then.

0o0

On Monday, Kurt wears a rainbow of slushies and his shoulder aches all day. He keeps his head down, holds in a dozen scathing retorts, and tells himself over and over, _Remember the plan._

It will get better.

0o0

Tuesday and Wednesday are both repeats of Monday.

He does all his homework, cleans each room of the house, cooks up a storm of his dad's favorite foods, watches TV with Dad, listens to Dad talk about the garage and sports Kurt couldn't care less about if he tried, and works a shift, discussing cars with Dad and TJ and Rick, men he's known all his life, men who blinked when he touched up his overalls but didn't care.

Thursday, while in French and listening to the teacher mangle his mother's favorite language, one he's spoken since the cradle, Kurt adds to his plan-poem:

_A whole world is waiting somewhere far from here_  
><em>But the sky can't be reached from a dumpster<em>  
><em>And my eyes are burning from the cold<em>  
><em>So don't tell me you're proud that I'm still standing<em>  
><em>When you never offered me a hand<em>  
><em>When you walk on by and look away<em>  
><em>When you don't notice<em>  
><em>You don't notice<em>  
><em>I'm bleeding more each day<em>  
><em>And I can barely be bothered to staunch the flow<em>

0o0

On Friday, he cuts his last class and goes to his mother's grave. He's there for three hours and tells her everything. He sobs that he's not strong enough, and he can't do it anymore, and four years is too long to be in Hell alone.

He begs her to forgive him for dying so easily when she fought so hard to live. He swears that Dad is strong enough to survive. (He never lets himself think he's wrong.)

0o0

Saturday, Dad has an emergency at the garage and Kurt sits on the floor of Dad's room, smelling Mama's perfume, as he writes the note.

He adds one more part to the plan-poem, and he knows it's not finished, but no one besides him will ever care, anyway.

_And this is my swan song_  
><em>My final dive across the sky<em>  
><em>There'll be no more curtains<em>  
><em>The show is closin' down<em>  
><em>This is me goin' goin' gone<em>  
><em>If you hear me at all,<em>  
><em>Hear me sayin' goodbye<em>

0o0

On Sunday, Kurt curls up next to Dad on the couch and watches a ten-episode marathon of Deadliest Catch. He doesn't once complain or mutter sarcastic remarks. They order pizza and Kurt says during a commercial, "Dad, I'm gay."

Dad sets down his slice, wipes off his hands, pulls Kurt into a strong hug, and says, "I know. I've known since you were three, and all you wanted were a pair of sensible heels." He leans back enough to look into Kurt's eyes and says, "I love you."

Kurt dives back into the hug.

0o0

On Monday, Kurt tells Puckerman and his jock lackeys exactly what he thinks. He stalks away while they're still figuring out he insulted them. He marches into Figgins' office and informs the man that Mr. Ryerson has been eying him all year, and he's pretty sure Hank Saunders is already being molested. He turns in all his homework early and leaves before first period is even half done.

He already feels better. His plan is working awesomely.

At home, he changes into an all-white ensemble, removes his father's gun from the safe, digs the bullets out of the linen closet, sits down at the kitchen table to clean all the pieces, then puts it together, loads it, and walks downstairs to his room. He leaves the note on his pillow, next to the notebook where his entire plan is laid out.

He takes a deep breath. Another part of the poem pops into his head, so he gently sets down the gun, grabs a pen from his bedside table and adds it, singing it softly as he writes the words.

_Tomorrow's so far away_  
><em>And I'm exhausted now<em>  
><em>I can't fight anymore<em>  
><em>Too tired for the future<em>  
><em>I don't have enough dreams left to last<em>

He closes the notebook, puts it back on his pillow, raises the gun to his temple, and tightens his finger on the trigger.

Nobody except Dad will even notice he's gone. Dad's strong enough to survive this. His life will be better, anyway. Kurt knows he's an annoyance and a burden.

_I've known since you were three, and all you wanted were a pair of sensible heels._

_I love you_.

Kurt has it all planned out. It's the only way.

He drops the gun, curls into a ball, and sobs until his eyes ache.

0o0

On Monday, Kurt puts the bullets back in the linen closet and locks the gun back in the safe. He folds up the note, hides it in the notebook, and buries the notebook beneath the tiaras in his hope chest.

He doesn't let himself think about his plan again until Finn finds the notebook three years later. After he reads it, Finn freaks the fuck out, drags their parents and Blaine and the entirety of New Directions into it, and demands to know what Kurt was doing.

Kurt looks at his father, at his boyfriend, at friends he didn't have then (and it's annoying, and ironic, that Puck looks so _angry _at the thought of Kurt planning out a suicide).

"I had a bad day," Kurt says, shrugging. "It got better."

None of them need to know how close it was.


	28. tired of all the dead

**Title**: tired of all the dead

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton

**Warnings**: takes place in senior year

**Pairings**: implied unrequited Karofsky/Kurt

**Rating**: PG  
><strong>Wordcount<strong>: 125

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Author's Choice, Author's Choice, _Try to realise it's all within yourself/No one else can make you change/And to see you're really only very small/And life flows on within you and without you_ (Within You Without You)

* * *

><p>Kurt dreams about changing the world. Of course he does. Every kid does. He'll make everything better for his generation and every generation that follows.<p>

It won't be easy. He's going against decades of training and idiocy and people afraid of change.

But today, Azimio Adams stopped a humongous freshman from yelling a slur at Kurt. Dave stood next to him, fists clenched, glaring at the kid, and the boy cowered back, fleeing without even a single glance at Kurt.

"Thank you," Kurt said.

Azimio scoffed, rolled his eyes. "Didn't do it for you," he said, walking away. Dave followed, one look directed Kurt's way.

Kurt smiled, watching them go. Azimio didn't do it for him, no… but he _did _it.

His dream gets closer every day.


	29. I'm so proud to know that he is mine

**Title**: I'm so proud to know that he is mine

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title paraphrased from The Beatles

**Warnings**: the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG  
><strong>Wordcount<strong>: 60

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Glee, Kurt/Blaine, I feel good in a special way, I'm in love and it's a sunny day (Good Day Sunshine)

* * *

><p>Sometimes, Blaine just stops and stares and smiles. Kurt will jabber on for a few more minutes, hands waving gracefully around, until he realizes Blaine hasn't added anything for a little while, and then he'll turn to look at Blaine, eyebrow raised.<p>

Blaine will just smile at him and reach for his hand and be so very in love.


	30. so much unsaid

**Title**: I hate that you're leavin' with so much unsaid

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Cyndi Thomson

**Warnings**: future!fic; character death; inaccurate legal processes

**Pairings**: mentions of Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 740

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Finn always knew he'd be visiting Rachel in New York. He may have been meant to get out of Lima but he was never meant for New York. He just never expected to be visiting Rachel in prison instead of backstage on Broadway.

* * *

><p>"Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same," she says calmly.<p>

"Rachel," he whispers, agonized.

Neither of them speak until he has to leave, when she says, "Give your parents a hug for me."

He nods.

0o0

Burt hasn't left the hotel room. Mom takes care of everything.

She lets Finn handle the calls from their friends, which range from despairing to furious to numbed disbelief.

The only one he tells the full story to is Puck.

Puck says, "I wish I could'a beat her to it."

Finn says, tears spilling over again, "Me, too."

0o0

Blaine wakes up three days after Rachel is arrested. He doesn't remember anything after his date with Kurt.

He doesn't remember the attack. He can't help the case at all, and after he realizes why Kurt isn't there…

Finn holds him gently, careful of the bruises and cracked ribs.

After Blaine realizes why Rachel isn't there, he asks to see her.

0o0

Blaine looks Rachel in the eye and says quietly, "Thank you."

Rachel smiles at him, so sadly and at peace. "He would've done the same for me."

"Yes," Blaine agrees. "He would've."

0o0

_Up-and-coming fashion sensation Kurt Hummel was killed in a gaybashing long before his time. Everyone knows that._

_What not everyone knows is that his best friend, the newest Broadway darling, Rachel Berry, took it upon herself to avenge him. Her trial begins this week._

_Many people I spoke to agree that she should be acquitted, and while I hope for that, too, I don't think it will happen. _

_I went to see Ms. Berry on a crisp autumn day and asked her why she decided to take the law into her own hands._

_She looked me in the eyes and said softly, "Quinn, you remember him. Wouldn't you have done the same?"_

_I went to school with Kurt Hummel and Rachel Berry. I picked on them until the day I realized they were the only thing I had._

"_Yes," I told her._

_If life had gone differently, I'd be on trial this week._

_I wouldn't regret it, either._

0o0

"Quinn," her editor says. "I can't print this, not even in the opinion section."

"I know." Quinn shrugs. She hesitates, thinking back to the look in Rachel's eyes, to Blaine's tears and Finn's disbelieving sorrow, to Burt's heavy grief.

"I'm taking a sabbatical," Quinn says abruptly. Gleeks are pouring in from all over the country, filling up the entire floor of the Hummel's hotel. "I'll be back after the trial." _Maybe_, she doesn't add. _Probably not_.

Her editor nods. She doesn't look at anyone as she gathers up her the odds-and-ends on her desk, including three pictures: the New Directions, three years running.

Quinn's family.

0o0

It's Brittany's idea to write the book.

It's Matt's idea to have everyone do their own chapter, how they saw high-school and glee club and their two brightest stars. Seventeen in all – three years' worth. Glocks and gleerios and gleeks. Everyone who was ever in New Directions, even Jesse St. James, who sits next to Finn at the trial and silently cries.

Rachel's chapter is the last one. Quinn feels something between satisfaction and pain as she reads Rachel's cut-and-dried explanation about the days following Kurt's death.

Quinn edits out the recipe Rachel followed, but she leaves in how Rachel waited for the police, determined that the whole world would know why those five men died.

0o0

Rachel is convicted, of course. No matter how the jury sympathizes with her (and most of them do), it was clearly premeditated.

Puck has to be escorted out when the sentence is read. Mr. Hummel sags against Mrs. Hummel, and the rest of the family all call their love to Rachel.

She looks only at Blaine. She mouths to him, "I'll never be sorry."

0o0

Quinn titles the book _The Only Direction_. Her editor reads it in one night and calls her in tears.

It's a run-away best-seller.

The inscription says, _For our brother, our glorious star – and to our sister, the brilliant bird in a drab cage. We love you._

0o0

They all return to their lives, fifteen people again apart. Blaine goes back to Lima with the Hummels and never sings again.

Finn visits Rachel three times a year: on her birthday, on the day Kurt died, and on the day their book was published. They talk about everything except prison.

Rachel always tells him, "I'm not sorry."

Finn always says, "I know."


	31. you will weep and know why

**Title**: you will weep and know why

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Hopkins

**Warnings**: angsty fluff; partially future!fic

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 230

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**:

Something based on this quote:

"We didn't talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there together. And that was enough."  
>-Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)<p>

Can be angsty or fluffy, but I do kind of have a scenario in mind - Kurt is upset by something, he's crying in Blaine's arms, and Blaine does his best to offer 'silent comfort' until Kurt starts to talk about whatever's bothering him.

* * *

><p>Sometimes, Kurt doesn't want to talk. He doesn't want to rant or rave or rail against life for being so damned unfair. He doesn't want to fight or argue or try anymore.<p>

Sometimes, he just wants to curl up in the dark and cry.

0o0

The first time he found Kurt crying beneath the covers, Blaine freaked out. He inadvertently made everything worse by calling Kurt's dad in a panic because Kurt refused to talk to him.

The second time, he knew it was his fault, so he apologized quietly and left, waited a day, and then texted Kurt, _I love you_.

The third time, Blaine crawled up behind him and just held on. He didn't whisper assurances. He didn't hum a tune. He just got as close as he could and was simply _there_.

The fourth time, Kurt turned over as Blaine stretched out on the bed, and he held Blaine, crying into his hair.

0o0

Sometimes, Kurt would talk about it. Most times, he wouldn't.

The fifth time, Kurt said, "I'm so tired."

Blaine kissed the side of his head and said, "I've got you. You can sleep."

They had matching crowns and Blaine's fists ached with how tightly he clenched them to keep from swinging. Burt was downstairs with questions, and Finn only muddied the waters.

Kurt squeezed his hand and whispered, "I love you."

Blaine held on.


	32. You're not a man for them

**Title**: You're not a man for them  
><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: not my characters; title from Sandra Cisneros  
><strong>Warnings<strong>: AU  
><strong>Pairings<strong>: Blaine/Kurt, Finn/Rachel, Burt/Carole  
><strong>Rating<strong>: PG  
><strong>Wordcount<strong>: 2450  
><strong>Point<strong> **of** **view**: third  
><strong>Note<strong>: I am not a music person. I am fluent in a single language (though, I can read a smidge in another). I have no idea how realistic this is. I also don't care. It was fun to write.  
><strong>Prompt<strong>:

Kurt never joined glee. He may not have auditioned, but he's still part of all the commotion (Maybe he's the piano player, or Brad's student? Somehow he's involved, just not singing). He doesn't think he's a good singer, so he didn't want to embarrass himself by auditioning. The reason he doubts his singing voice? At some point before Glee, somebody told him he sounds horrible, and that shot his confidence.

Imagine the club's surprise when that quiet kid, who's just always there, is caught singing beautifully.

-Definitely want angst on Kurt's part, about his singing and utter lack of confidence.

Bonus: You somehow fit Blaine in!

* * *

><p>Whenever Kurt has to escape, he goes to a coffee shop two hours away from Lima. He makes a day of it, bringing whatever his current novel is, usually in French, Spanish, or German; his most-recent, least-filled sketchbook; and his composing notebook. He isn't sure if music or fashion will get him out of Lima, but right now, he loves them equally.<p>

Brad assures him he's an amazing pianist, and almost as good with the violin and cello. He explained it to Dad once: the piano is French, a language Kurt could speak practically from the cradle. Mom taught it to him right alongside English when he was still toddling around and he didn't know not every kid could speak both (and play the piano) until much later. By the time he met Brad, he was fluent in French and the piano. But the violin and cello are like Spanish and German. He's good at them, one moreso than the other, but it's not as easy and he doesn't enjoy them quite as much.

The piano and French are his mother, his past. He thinks fashion might be his future, his ticket away from Lima for good.

As high-school progresses, Brad lets Kurt play most of the glee club's music so he can focus on his other students. The club never seems to notice the band, but that's fine. Kurt is invisible at McKinley: he wears boring clothes he can _feel_eating his soul, he never talks except at his music lesson (which, more and more, is Brad telling him to let loose and play whatever he wants), and he always sits in the back. He's at the top of the class, not that anyone cares, but grades are just another way to get out.

He's pretty sure everyone thinks he's mute, when they notice him at all. He hasn't spoken at school, except to Brad, in six years, not since Ms. Hollander told him – in front of the entire seventh grade – that boys shouldn't screech like that. He'd been shocked, and hurt, and at a loss.

Mom had told him he sounded like an angel. Dad always said, "Soundin' good, kid," when he heard Kurt and Mom singing together.

But Mom died, so Dad had to work more, and so Kurt still played the piano but he never sang except at home, and even there, it was rare.

He just wants to slip under the radar and get out. New York or Los Angeles, fashion or music or both. He has dozens of sketchbooks full of outfits he wishes he could wear and a thousand melodies he wishes he had the words to match.

And now he's a senior. One year left. He's applied to over twenty schools, up and down the east and west coasts, and his freedom is so close he can taste it.

.

Dad started dating a woman named Carole over a year ago. She brought her car into the garage and the rest is history. Her son is on the football team and the male lead in New Directions. He seems like a nice guy, if a little… dim. His voice is pleasant enough, and he's always polite to Kurt. He was shocked when he saw Kurt at the piano during glee, though. Like he'd never noticed Kurt before.

That wouldn't be surprising.

.

One Saturday, Kurt is halfway through _Don Quixote_– in Spanish – and eating a blueberry muffin. His sketchbook is open to his designs for the glee club's outfits for Sectionals, Regionals, and Nationals, if they make it. His composing notebook is facedown on 'Nightingale Silenced,' a tune he's been working on for six years.

The coffee shop is full, not a single empty chair except for the one across from him. He's so caught up in his book that he only notices someone has sat down at his table when the boy clears his throat.

Kurt looks up. "Oh, sorry," he says, setting the book down to gather up his belongings, giving the boy room to set down his coffee and chocolate chip cookie.

"It's fine," the boy says. "I should have asked. You might have been waiting for someone."

Kurt shakes his head. "I wasn't." He stacks the sketchbook and notebook, putting _Don Quixote_on top, and the boy whistles.

"In Spanish?" he says. "Impressive." He holds out a hand. "I'm Blaine."

"Kurt," Kurt says. "I'm pretty much fluent in Spanish, so I'm just keeping up practice.

"Well, that's better than me," Blaine says, breaking off a piece of his cookie. "I'm barely halfway conversational in Italian."

Kurt smiles, caressing the cover of _Don Quixote_. "You should find an Italian copy of your favorite book or a magazine you like." He looks up; Blaine quickly averts his gaze and Kurt doesn't dare let himself hope. "That's what I did for German," he finishes. Dad's parents had been fluent, second-generation Americans, both of them, but Dad hasn't spoken to either of them in thirty years and he never speaks the little German he still knows. Kurt wanted to learn the language anyway.

Blaine pauses with some cookie halfway to his mouth and lowers his hand. "You're fluent in Spanish and German?"

"And French," Kurt says. "I grew up speaking that one, though, so I don't think it counts."

Blaine shakes his head. "Four languages? Now I feel inadequate."

Kurt laughs. Blaine smiles at him, and then past him. "Wes, David!" he says. "We'll have to move our meeting somewhere else." He gestures to the café around them. "As you can see, the place is too busy."

Two boys stop next to the table. "It's not normally like this," the black one says.

"David," Blaine says. "Wes. This is Kurt. He was kind enough to let me interrupt his language studies."

"I hope Blaine wasn't too much of a distraction," Wes says.

"Not at all," Kurt answers.

Blaine smiles again. "Would you like to meet next week?" he asks. "Same time, same place?"

Kurt stares at him. "Su-sure," he says. "I'll be here."

Blaine grabs the one pencil Kurt had left out and jots down a number on a napkin. "Here," he says, setting it on Kurt's book. "If you have anymore Italian tips for me." He holds out his hand and Kurt lifts his to clasp it. "It was wonderful to meet you, Kurt."

"You, too, Blaine," he says, nodding to Wes and David as they head out.

He watches Blaine, trying to strangle his hope. No one's ever flirted with him before. He's always been invisible. Even now, in the safety of a coffee shop two hours from home, he's wearing a boring black shirt and boring blue jeans.

He doesn't read any more of _Don Quixote _that morning. Instead, he sketches out a week's worth of outfits for Blaine and he writes a new melody he optimistically titles 'A Door Opens.'

Kurt leaves three hours later. He promised he'd be home to hear a huge announcement from his dad and Carole before their dinner date at a fancy restaurant. Dad rarely does fancy, so it's obvious what the announcement is.

It's a complete non-surprise when Carole bursts into Dad's rambling speech to say, "We're getting married!"

Kurt smiles and says, "Congratulations!"

Finn looks shell-shocked.

Dad can't stop grinning.

.

Dad and Carole want a small, low-key wedding. Kurt's playing around with the ending of 'Nightingale Silenced' and waiting for glee to start when Finn tells everyone their parents are engaged and his mother wants kickass music, but he doesn't know what to do.

"How about us?" asks Rachel Berry, the diva of the club. "We could use this as further practice."

Finn lights up. "That's an awesome idea!"

.

The wedding is three weeks away. It'll be on a Friday, then Dad and Carole will be on the way to Hawaii for eight days.

Kurt will be in charge of the house. Finn is told only to look after his brother.

.

Kurt goes to the coffee shop and sits at the same table at the same time, and orders himself not to hope.

Blaine sits across from him and says, "Hey."

Kurt can't control his grin; after a moment, he doesn't try.

.

A month after the wedding, Kurt asks Blaine, "Would you like to get dinner sometime?"

"Of course," Blaine says. "How about tomorrow night?"

They've talked about everything – school, music, dreams, hopes, and fears. Blaine is the lead singer and one third of the Council of New Directions' competition, goes to an expensive all-boys boarding school, and hasn't seen his parents in over a year. He's handsome, charming, and gay.

He's not invisible. He was bullied out of a one school and rules another. Singing is a hobby of his, but he wants to be pediatrician.

"How about I pick you up?" Blaine asks. "I'd really like to hear you on the piano." He hesitates, looking away. "I… I wrote you a song. To play, I mean." He hurries to add, "I'm better at words than music, so I thought, maybe, you could play what sounds good with the words. You know?"

Kurt stares at him. "You wrote me a song?" Blaine nods. Kurt can't help but laugh, and when Blaine looks up, hurt, Kurt says, "No, no, it's just –" He pulls out what he's taken to calling his Blaine-book. "Look through it."

The Blaine-book is full of sketches for Blaine and 'A Door Opens' and other songs.

"All of this," Blaine asks. "It's for me?"

Kurt nods. Blaine smiles and walks around the table to kiss Kurt soundly on the lips.

.

Finn has Rachel over Sunday afternoon. They're up in his room when Blaine arrives; Dad is dealing with an emergency involving one his (ex)workers skimming off the top and Carole is out with a friend.

Kurt hasn't told any of them about Blaine. Why would he? He barely talks anyway.

But now Blaine is at his house, kissing him, pressing him against the front door, and _wow_. No wonder the kids in glee are always making out.

Once Blaine pulls back and they both catch their breath, Kurt takes his hand and leads him to the den. The piano is in the corner, the violin and cello on stands next to it.

"Let me guess," Blaine says. He points to the piano and says, "French." Kurt nods. "So the violin is… Spanish and the cello German?"

Kurt nods again. He sits on the bench and pulls Blaine down beside him. "Give me the words," he says.

Blaine looks more nervous than Kurt's seen him before. He unfolds a sheet of notebook paper and puts it on the piano. Kurt quickly looks over the first couple stanzas. He begins playing what he thinks fits and nudges Blaine.

"Sing," he whispers.

Blaine nods, licks his lips, and starts softly, "I thought I was alone, always lookin' in through the window, wonderin' what was so wrong with me. Why couldn't I have what everyone had? Holdin' hands, walkin' down the hall – what's so wrong with that?"

He gently elbows Kurt and hums along with the piano, so Kurt takes a deep breath and sings for the first time in two years.

"What's so wrong with that?" He's hesitant, barely more than a murmur. He focuses on his music, letting his voice follow. "I only want what everyone has, the warmth and camaraderie. I want laughter and arms to hold me tight. Tell me – why is that too much to ask? Tell me, please." He lets his voice soar, going higher than he thought it could, way past what Ms. Hollander called a screech. "What's so wrong with that?"

Blaine is staring at him. He ignores that, and a thud from upstairs, to keep playing. Blaine gets the message and continues.

"Punch me and kick me, slam me down. I'll rise stronger, determined to win. I'll find a boy one day and he'll take my hand. We'll stand and we'll dance and we'll love 'til death takes away all we have."

Kurt sings along with him, "I'll find a boy one day and he'll take my hand." Blaine lets his voice fade while Kurt's strengthens, repeating, "He'll take my hand. We'll stand and we'll dance; we'll dance till the end."

He plays for a few moments. Blaine sings softly, "Tell me why that's so wrong. Tell me why I should be afraid and alone." Kurt adds, "Why I should look through the window – why do I have to be alone?"

They finish together, "I'll find a boy and he'll take my hand and we'll dance. We'll dance till the dancin's done. We'll dance."

Kurt plays for a few minutes more and then his fingers still.

He glances over. Blaine's staring again. "Was… did I sound okay?" he asks, looking at his hands. "I… I haven't sung in awhile. At all."

"Kurt," Blaine says seriously. "I would not be surprised if angels sound like you." He reaches over and cups Kurt's cheek with his hand. Kurt lifts his hand to cover Blaine's, leaning forward to kiss him.

They only realize someone else is in the room when Rachel Berry demands, "What was that?"

Blaine pulls back, turning. Kurt sighs.

"I heard singing," Rachel continues. Finn is staring at them, eyes darting back and forth.

"Hi, I'm Blaine," Blaine says, standing and walking over, hand outstretched. "I'm – a friend of Kurt's."

"A friend who kisses?" Finn asks.

"Rachel Berry," Rachel says, shaking Blaine's hand. "Who was singing?"

"Well, we were," Blaine says. "I wrote the words, Kurt the music." He looks back at Kurt. "It seemed familiar."

Kurt nods. The first few notes were new; the rest was 'A Door Opens.' His Blaine-theme.

Finn grabs Blaine's hand and shakes it hard. "I'm Finn, his big brother. How long have you been kissing-friends?"

Rachel steps around Blaine, eyes wide as she gapes at Kurt. "You… _you_ can sing like _that_? Why didn't you join glee!"

He turns back to the piano, shrugging. "I play music," he says quietly, grabbing Blaine's song. "I design clothes. I don't sing." He looks back in time to see three shocked expressions, and if he wasn't so embarrassed, he might've laughed.

"You… you don't _sing_?" Rachel asks after a moment. "Why _not_?"

Kurt looks at Blaine. Blaine says, "We have places to be." He smiles at Rachel and Finn. "It was wonderful to meet both of you."

Rachel opens her mouth again - to protest, Kurt is sure - but Blaine just smiles at Kurt and holds out a hand.

Kurt laughs, taking it, humming as Blaine murmurs, "I'll find a boy and he'll take my hand and we'll dance."


	33. Don't harm the turtledove

**Title**: Don't harm the turtledove

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton

**Warnings**: takes place in senior year; suicidal implications; implied future sexytimes

**Pairings**: Burt/Carole, Blaine/Kurt

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 610

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: It is Friday night and the Hudmels plus Blaine and Rachel are having dinner together.  
>Finn who has been playing with Kurt's cell phone asks him "Dude, what the hell is the Trevor Project, you have made like one hundred calls to that place".<p>

* * *

><p>Dinner's almost done. Kurt's been holding hands with Blaine under the table since Blaine asked him to pass the salt, carrying on a spirited discussion with Carole about whether or not denim counts as an acceptable fabric, and counting down the seconds. He and Blaine have plans.<p>

He's so nervous, and excited, and _ready_.

Kurt had honestly forgotten Finn stole his phone to play b'loons before dinner started. He's laughing at the look on Dad's face and he'll never be able to remember what Carole said that was so funny, and Finn asks, "Hey, dude, who's Trevor? He a Warbler or somethin'? You called him, like, a million times."

He can play it off. Pretend he's someone at Dalton, or a partner for a project. He has a five second window when he could do it.

But he freezes, all his quips drying up in his throat.

Blaine catches on first, full-on turning to demand, "_The Trevor Project_?"

Dad knows what that is. Carole knows what that is.

Finn doesn't.

"I... I just had some questions," Kurt says. "Nothing major."

Blaine's still holding his hand. Dad's staring at him. Carole reaches across the table to grip his wrist, and Finn says, "So… not a Warbler, then."

"A million calls for nothing major," Dad says.

"It _was _major," Kurt admits, fingers squeezing Blaine's so hard they're both wincing. "Until about a month into Dalton."

"Honey," Carole says. "Then what—"

"I called last night to ask a question," Kurt says. "That's all. To clarify something. I'm not—I'm _better_."

Oh, and Dad flinches at that. Blaine sucks in a sharp breath.

"Better?" Carole echoes faintly. "As in, you were worse at some point."

A kiss in a locker room. Bruises for days, words flung like daggers so often they don't even hurt anymore. _I'll kill you_ only if _I don't kill myself first_.

Finn sets the phone on the table. "Oh," he says quietly. "That Trevor."

Rachel, of course. Something finally sticks in his head and he doesn't remember until it's too late.

Dinner's done and he's not going anywhere. Blaine's pulling him close, Carole's scrambling for words, and Dad's just _looking _at him, like he's something precious, something fragile.

He's not precious. He hasn't been fragile for months, not since he hardened himself up again in a hall while a crown waited.

"Dad," he says, at a loss.

"Kurt," Dad says. "Tell me you never…"

And he could lie. Maybe he could still save this, play it off. Maybe he and Blaine could still get out of here, because…

Dad's face crumples, and he brings a hand up to cover himself.

"Dad," he says again. "I'm _sorry_." He's about to start bawling, ugly tears like in that hall, with only Blaine to hold him together.

He'd made plans upon plans, intricate and elegant. He never found himself desperate enough to follow any of them, and then he had a Warbler and _courage _and Carole and Finn, Finn hurrying around the table to pull Kurt and Blaine both into his arms.

"I never tried," Kurt says into Finn's shoulder. "I swear. I never will."

Dad says, "Shit, Kurt," and comes up the other side, gently taking him away from Finn and Blaine. "I don't know… I can't…"

One of the plans was created in an empty waiting room, arms wrapped around himself, hearing useless songs about God's will and God's light on repeat in his head. He never wrote that one down.

"I love you, Kurt," Dad whispers. "I love you so fuckin' much, kid. Don't you ever—"

Kurt clutches Dad's shirt, whispers back, "I love you," and closes his eyes.


	34. Above us, only sky

**Title**: Above us, only sky

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from John Lennon

**Warnings**: AU in that some people have animal attributes such as tails and wings. And AU partway through Never Been Kissed. Also, AU towards Blaine's canon age.

**Pairings**: unrequited Karofsky/Kurt, pre-Blaine/Kurt

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 2270

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Note**: inspired by http: / gleeanimalism . livejournal . com / 22714 . html.

**Another** **note**: yes, I know that beyond the obvious, this is implausible. Also, some parts are probably not physically possible. I had so much fun writing it I don't care.

* * *

><p>Kurt tried to fly once. He was six. Mama had been promising him lessons forever, Mama with her massive golden wings, her golden hair, her sky blue eyes.<p>

(People always used to tell him he looked just like Mama.)

Kurt's wings, though, had always been delicate, dull brown things. They used to flap incessantly, giving away his mood, reactions he couldn't control. Mama taught him tricks to keep them calm, tips to fit his wings into his clothes, and in later years he greatly expanded on that.

But he only ever tried to fly the once. Mama had been promising him lessons ever since he realized he had something in common with the birds in the sky, and he was tired of waiting.

Dad had extra-sharp nails that grew extra-quickly and Mama trimmed them every morning. Those were the only wolf in him – well, those and the growl that sometimes roughened his voice and his extraordinary sense of smell. Kurt inherited the nails, so Mama trimmed his, too.

The one time Kurt tried flying, Dad was at the garage and Mama was working on a project in the den. Kurt climbed onto the roof, spread his little wings, and jumped.

His wings fluttered uselessly as he screamed, and then he hit the ground with a _thump_ and a _snap_.

Kurt didn't try to fly again for over a decade. His wings were small and weak, but he exercised them like any other part of his body, for appearances if nothing else. Dad told him to have patience – his wings would grow, would strengthen. That according to all sources, it simply took time.

He'd smiled and nodded and didn't really believe that. Kurt was scrawny, short, and small. His wings were dull and delicate. They matched the rest of him.

0o0

At McKinley, the endless torture chamber masquerading as a place of learning, there was a status quo. Normals were mostly left alone by animas. Full humans with no animas traits at all were safe, except from other humans. Kids with ears, tails, and claws of any kind were mostly left alone, too. There was some tail pulling, of course, and if the ears looked soft enough, a few girls might pet them, no matter who they were on. But claws, especially the retractable kind, _hurt_. After the first couple swipes, people with claws were abandoned for easier targets. Forked tongues were kinda cool, and scaled knuckles hurt almost as much as claws, if used to punch someone.

So normals were left to normal bullies. Animas were left to animas bullies, if they were bullied at all. Usually, only the weak were picked on – survival of the fittest and all. Felid, canid, and reptilian were the most common anywhere; chiropterans were a myth Kurt didn't believe in. He'd never seen anyone with bat attributes, anyway. And he was the lone avian in Lima since Mama died.

Wings, Kurt had learned through research, were the rarest of all. Some avians were unlucky, with bird feet or a beak instead of mouth. A few just had the eyes of whatever bird ran in their family. Kurt and his mother had wings. Most anything else would be hidden, but _wings_…

And they didn't even work.

0o0

Kurt dressed how he wanted, he held his head high no matter what the bullies said or did, and he swore to leave one day and never come back.

Twenty kids at McKinley were felid or canid. Five were reptilian. Chiropteran didn't exist anymore, if they ever had.

One was avian.

0o0

The glee club was supposed to be fun. He joined for an escape. Then Schue got seven popular kids to sing and dance with them, and Kurt had to be on guard even there. He kept to the edge, wings held carefully in. Of the twelve glee members, five were animas: Santana Lopez with tiger stripes and painfully sharp nails, Brittany Pierce with adorable fennec fox ears, Tina Cohen-Chang had a forked tongue and slitted eyes, Noah Puckerman (Puck, the main bully) had a long dark tail and fangs, and Kurt Hummel had useless brown wings that drooped from his shoulders.

Kurt was small. He tried keeping to himself, but sometimes even the normals of McKinley shoved him around. He often wondered about keeping his nails sharp instead of filing them down so he had a weapon to fight back – but there no point. He was the gay winged freak. He just needed to survive.

0o0

When Kurt was seventeen, he snuck into a school two hours away from home to spy on a rival glee club. The school seemed to have an even mix of normals and animas; Kurt saw three kids with wings. He stared at them with wide eyes, his own hidden beneath a coat.

A boy passed him on the stairs, wings tucked down. Kurt watched him, mouth open in surprise: the first three winged boys had feathers like Kurt, albeit white and blue and gray. But this boy – his wings were leathery and black, like a bat. Chiropteran.

Not a myth at all, then.

"Excuse me," Kurt said, reaching out; the boy turned, expression expectant. His gaze went to the coat and it looked like he folded a smile away, but his eyes were still laughing.

In hindsight, Kurt really was a terrible spy. But Blaine held his hand and sang that song _to_ _him_, and it was so wonderful.

And then, they caught him on the way out, coat gone and wings stretching to their full span. The wings had grown with him, strong and supple, and he'd ben daydreaming about the sky lately. About trying again. Just like he'd been sharpening his nails and expertly avoiding Dad's questions about the slight scent of blood always on him anymore.

One of Blaine's friends had fox ears and a bushy tail and promised him they wouldn't beat him. The other was normal and called him endearing. Kurt watched Blaine's wings with fascinated awe and didn't notice Blaine watching his right back.

After Wes and David excused themselves and Blaine talked about confronting bullies and Kurt nearly broke down in tears, he looked Blaine in the eye and asked, "Have you ever flown?"

Blaine nodded. "My dad and I… since I came out, the only time we ever spend together anymore is in the sky."

One of Kurt's wings rustled; he reached over his shoulder to stroke the nearest feather, biting his lip. "I never have," he confessed. He tried once and broke his leg in two places. His wings had always been weak and dull, but now they glinted in the light and he heard skysong.

"Your wings look strong," Blaine said, ducking his head. Kurt flushed, wings clamping tight. "Take my number," Blaine suggested, grabbing a napkin. "Call me if you want to talk about your bully, or if you wanna fly."

"Really?" Kurt asked. "I don't want to be a bother."

Blaine raised a brow. "If I thought you could be a bother, I wouldn't have offered." He held out the napkin. Kurt hesitantly reached for it, fingers gentle on the fragile paper.

Blaine's wings shifted and he smiled.

0o0

Karofsky, a normal boy twice Kurt's size, slapped his phone from his hand and shoved him into the lockers. Kurt stared after him, wings tight against his back, aching, and fingers curved, nails sharp.

_Courage_, the text had read. _Courage_.

He ran after Karofsky, tired of being the easy target for every predator in the school. He yelled at the boy, wings spread to make himself larger. He kept his hands ready, in case he needed a weapon, but Karofsky didn't attack him. Not like he expected.

Karofsky grabbed his face and forced their lips together and Kurt froze, hands raised and wings spread, until Karofsky let him go, _looked_ at him, and moved in again.

Fight or flight. Kurt had never been capable of either, but he slashed Karofsky's face and fled the room, tearing his way through the hall until he was outside. People who had pushed him around or ignored him got out of the way, glancing at each other in askance, but Kurt was beneath the sky now, wings flared and chest heaving.

He had blood on his fingers. Something in his head was shrieking, was snarling, and he hadn't tried since he was six years old. Everyone knew he couldn't fly and wouldn't fight, and – and –

He closed his eyes and keened. He had to get away, get high out of reach, so he pumped the wings that had gotten massive as he grew, and he soared into the sky.

0o0

When he landed, Kurt was lost. He'd never been so exhausted, even when he was a cheerio. He collapsed, wrapping his wings tight around himself and fell into a shivering, uneasy sleep.

He woke cold, trembling and achy. It was early November and his muscles still tremored. He staggered to his feet, wings still clamped tightly for warmth, and stared at the sky.

Kurt was in a clearing. It was night. He hadn't a clue where he was or how to get home, and no way to call for help. He wanted to cry and curl up in his dad's arms. Instead, he was alone and cold and lost.

But he'd flown. He'd flown _far_. His wings worked amazingly well. He smiled before remembering he was alone, cold, and lost.

He sank back down, resting his head on his arms, wrapped around his knees, wings still cloaked over him. He knew he should find a road, find a kind motorist with a phone, but hewas still so exhausted he nearly fell asleep again.

Then he heard, "Kurt! Kurt Hummel!" And again, from a different direction, "Kurt!"

His wings fell open as he scrambled to his feet.

"Kurt Hummel!" a strange voice shouted, and dogs were barking, and then a howl he _knew_, and "KURT!"

"Dad!" he screamed. "Dad, I'm over here!"

0o0

So, Kurt got grounded, of course. Until he conditioned his body properly, he couldn't fly again, and even then, he had to stay in his dad's sight for the foreseeable future. And all of the glee club _and_ Coach Sylvester yelled at him.

Karofsky's face was going to scar, but no one knew where the scratches came from. Kurt's explanation for why he flew away (he flew!) didn't name anyone in particular. He said only the collective bullying had finally gotten to him and he had to escape.

When he called Blaine, a week after Dad and the police and a livid Sue Sylvester found him, he shouted, "I flew, Blaine! I clawed the shit out of him and I flew thirty miles."

"Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"Uh, yeah," he said. "Sorry. Blaine, this is Kurt. The spy? We, um, talked about a week ago? You texted me a lot."

"No, Kurt, yeah, I know. I mean, I remember. But, you – you clawed who and flew where?"

Kurt fell forward on his bed, letting his wings stretch out. "The bully. I confronted him and he…" Kurt paused, licking his lips. He hadn't told anyone. Not Dad, not the police, not Coach, not any of his friends. But he had to talk about it. "Blaine, he kissed me. And when he tried again, I raked his face and flew away."

Blaine was quiet for a moment. "He kissed you?" Blaine echoed softly. "Oh, Kurt."

"Fight or flight, right?" Kurt said, laughing slightly. "I never thought I could do both in the same day."

They stayed silent for a few minutes. Finally, Kurt said, "I told my dad about Dalton. He… I've never seen him so scared, Blaine, not even at the hospital after the accident. _He_ led the cops to me, not the other way around. He terrified the principal, and he's thinking about a lawsuit." Kurt bounced up and flipped onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He shifted his wings around; they were so big now. They trailed on the floor, taking up more space than his bed. "He won't send me back to McKinley, not since I explained about the bullying."

"I think you'd do well at Dalton," Blaine said. "There should be some scholarships you can apply for."

"Yeah." Kurt sighed. "He's been talking to admissions. It's just… I _flew_, Blaine. I tasted the sky and it was wonderful."

Blaine laughed gently. "When you come to Dalton," he promised, "I'll fly with you."

0o0

At McKinley, there were twenty-five animas students, all canid, felid, or reptilian. At Dalton, there were a hundred and fourteen. Most, of course, were felid or canid. Twenty-two were reptilian. Thirteen were avian. Two were chiropteran.

Blaine was popular at Dalton. A senior, he'd attended Dalton since ninth grade. He'd come from a public school, where his wings had kept animas and normals away.

"I told people I was part vampire bat," he snickered, "and that I'd drain them dry if they ever messed with me." He arched his back, extending the wings fully. Kurt stared at him before blushing and hunching down.

"Let's go fly," Blaine said, holding out a hand.

Kurt let Blaine pull him to his feet, then followed him to the roof. "Last time I jumped off a roof," Kurt muttered nervously, "I fell and broke my leg."

"Yeah," Blaine said, "but you can fly now. C'mon, Kurt. Don't you hear the sky calling?"

Blaine tossed himself off, launching into the air. He turned to look at Kurt, rising higher and higher.

Kurt threw his head back and shrieked, then dived over the side; he rose, strong and powerful strokes taking him past Blaine, into the sky.


	35. Remember music and beware

**Title**: Remember music and beware

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton

**Warnings**: past child molestation

**Pairings**: past Sandy Ryerson/Kurt

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 475

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Burt finds out that Sandy Ryerson has been sexually abusing Kurt.

**Note**: Takes place in senior year. The molestation occurred in ninth grade and lasted about five months. Kurt never told anyone, and it made the whole Karofsky situation much worse for Kurt. Also, up to reader if it included actual anal penetration.

* * *

><p>When he figures it out, Burt rests his head gently against the wall and closes his eyes, taking deep, even breaths. <em>in, out<em> wring that bastard's neck _in, out_ oh, Kurt, no no no _in, out. in, out. in, out_

Kurt's looking at him. "Dad, it's fine," he says, but his voice is shaking, higher than it's been in a long while. "Please, Dad, don't—" And he can't even finish the thought.

That bastard touched his son. That bastard _hurt_his son. For months. Years ago. And Burt didn't know. Figured it was standard bullying, the kind Kurt didn't want him getting involved in. Burt had been a dumb kid once. And, yeah, he wanted to take a flamethrower to every single person who ever hurt his kid, but Kurt had to learn to fight his own battles.

But this... this is a battle Burt should have fought and won a long time ago.

"Oh, Kurt," he murmurs. _in, out_

He's never wanted to kill anyone so much. Not even that Karofsky kid.

"How old were you?" he asks, like it matters. Nothing matters except that his son didn't want it, was clearly too young to know what it even was.

"Dad," Kurt says. "Please."

Kurt will never talk about it, if he gets his way. Burt knows that. Kurt will want to forget, pretend, smile and laugh and kiss Blaine without explaining why he doesn't want to go further. (And Burt will find himself forgiving the kid for that sleepover debacle because he respects each of Kurt's boundaries like he's a Disney prince.)

Burt reaches out, and Kurt throws himself forward, burying his face in Burt's chest. They're the same height now, but Kurt feels so small in his arms. Like the baby Burt once cradled in his palms.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Kurt whispers, and Burt imagines that bastard's face breaking beneath his hands, that bastard's bones shattering and splintering, sledgehammer and tire iron and SUV.

"We have to report him," Burt says. His baby boy whimpers, trying to burrow further in, hands grasping Burt's shirt. "Please, Kurt." He doesn't want to force Kurt – nobody should ever force him to do anything ever again – but they _need_to tell the police. Even if nothing comes of it.

He wants to kill the bastard. He already has half a dozen ideas. Kurt's sobbing into his shirt, and Burt's not far behind him, and he should have known.

_in, out_ He should have known. _in, out. in, out. in, out_If the police don't do something, he'll kill the bastard and bury the body somewhere no one will find it. It's not like anyone would miss him.

_in, out_"I love you, Kurt," he says, holding his son.

Kurt just cries, hands fisted in Burt's shirt, and it's a long time before he stops.


	36. Think only of my love! – my song is gone

**Title**: Think only of my love! – my song is gone

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Elizabeth Barrett Browning

**Warnings**: takes place after Prom; mentions of character death

**Pairings**: canon

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**:

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Rachel went snooping around the old Glee Club records, and finds tapes on one from years ago, she plays it and says they should be more like them. Kurt realises it's his mother singing a solo. Do with this what you will!

* * *

><p>No one is really listening to the tape. Mercedes saw an argument between Karofsky and Azimio, and she's whispering everything she heard to Kurt; Mike and Tina are cuddling; Santana is simultaneously flirting with Brittany and Finn while Lauren and Puck make out; and Quinn is updating facebook on her phone at the same time Sam and Artie begin a discussion about <em>Avatar<em> versus _Lord of the Rings_.

Rachel is trying to gain everyone's attention, and Mr. Schue is about to lose his temper, when one ethereal voice soars away from the rest, filling the room and silencing all of them.

Kurt's eyes widen, and then he ducks his head, slamming his eyes shut.

"We need to sound like this!" Rachel screeches. "Listen!"

That once voice completely steals the show; Kurt doesn't even hear the others, plodding and heavy behind her, trying to follow and losing the way. She sang in his dreams, haunted every horrible moment he'd ever experienced, kept him company in dumpsters, whispered how one day, it would all be better.

He knows this song, too. She sang it as a lullaby on the nights he had bad dreams.

"What is she sayin'?" Puck mumbles to Lauren; she shushes him. The song is French, one of his mother's favorites. She used to say she met Dad because of it. They danced around the kitchen while she sang it, Kurt snug between them.

Kurt smiles, swaying to the music, and then he begins to sing. He echoes her, slightly deeper, and tears slip down his face as he duets with his mother again.


	37. Won't you sometimes think of me?

**Title**: Won't you sometimes think of me?

**Fandom**: Glee/X-Men

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Emmylou Harris

**Warnings**: takes place in season 1

**Pairings**: none

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 325

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Kurt is a mutant. Writer's choice as to what power he has, but I'd like it to be invisible (i.e. not like Mystique or Beast) and preferably not telepathy. He deals with the prejudice not only against homosexuals but also against mutants.

* * *

><p>The only good thing he's found about his 'power' is that it's easy to hide. Easier than his orientation, easier than tears, easy as breathing.<p>

Hah. Breathing.

He's been lucky so far, that none of the bullies noticed. He's thought about going to the police, telling Dad. Screaming it at those stupid children who (hopefully) have no idea they went too far.

If Kurt hadn't had his power, he'd be dead. Suffocated on accident. Ever since then, he's actively looked to be bullied, so if they ever go too far again, it'll happen to him.

Accelerated healing is one thing; broken bones heal in minutes, and he doesn't exactly feel pain, so it's not hard to keep people from realizing his 'bruised' wrist actually snapped. But not needing to breathe...

Well.

Physically, he hasn't hurt since he was twelve. It wasn't until he was fifteen and Puck shoved his face into his own jacket, saturated with urine, that he realized he wasn't breathing.

He should be dead. Sometimes, he thinks he might be. He's considered experimenting with his capabilities. Jumping off things. Cutting other things. Seeing how far he can push himself before he breaks. He's pretty sure he won't reach that point, but the fear of being wrong… he can't do that to Dad.

Dad doesn't know. That the bullying is very physical. That Kurt should be dead twice over. That Kurt can't feel pain, and heals, and can hold his breath for years.

That Kurt isn't just gay, he's a mutant freak. Dad doesn't care about the gay, so Kurt wants to believe he wouldn't care about the mutant part, either.

But he isn't sure. The glee club might not care, either, but he's heard Quinn and Mercedes talking, heard Mr. Schue's offhand comments, listened to the whole world talk about freaks and monsters. Being mutant is worse than being gay.

So he just holds his head high and pretends to breathe.


	38. the heights take back their eagles

**Title**: the heights take back their eagles

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from C. Day-Lewis

**Warnings**: takes place early in season 3; homophobia/language; remembered violence

**Pairings**: Blaine/Kurt

**Rating**: PG13

**Wordcount**: 1055

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Anything involving Blaine having conversations/encounters with somebody from McKinley, without Kurt in the room. Because even though Blaine's been at McKinley for a while, we haven't really seen him interact with anyone at school except for Kurt, and during his WSS audition. Maybe a 5 times fic, where Blaine has conversations with somebody that's not Kurt. Maybe Tina, Puck, Mike, Santana, and Karofsky?

* * *

><p>Blaine is leaving third period French when the microphone is shoved in his face and the boy only Kurt and Rachel call Jacob demands, "How does it feel knowing people call you Kurt Hummel's Muppet-baby gigolo?"<p>

Blinking at him, Blaine says, "I didn't know anyone called me that."

"They do," Jacob says, trying to get the microphone closer. "They also say he snatched you out of a cradle and performed dark magic to make you his love-slave forever. Any comments?"

Blaine snorts. "Dark magic?" he repeats incredulously. "You really do just make up stories for the drama factor."

Jacob glances at the cameraboy then looks back at Blaine. "I had to repeat a year," Blaine says, deciding to throw him a bone. He knows it's a mistake as he does it, but at least Jacob might leave him alone for a little while. "Kurt's actually two months younger than me." He smiles. "Thank you for your time and interest, Jacob," he says politely, then nodding to the cameraboy as he walks past.

0o0

"Welcome, Blaine, have a seat," Ms. Pillsbury says. She hovers over him for a minute before darting around the desk. "How are you adjusting to McKinley so far?" she asks, dabbing a bit of hand-sanitizer on each of her palms and rubbing her hands together. "I know it must be quite different from Dalton."

He smiles at her. "So far, it's been fine." He can see the ghosts of all Kurt's stories in every classroom and down each hall, glares and mutters and clenched fists. But so far, all he's been subjected to are looks and whispers, and while those hurt, they don't give broken arms and bruised ribs. Those come later, and he's going nowhere alone.

But he doesn't tell Ms. Pillsbury that. Instead, he chats for thirty minutes about the differences between Dalton's French and McKinley's French, and how lucky he is that his boyfriend is already fluent in _actual _French.

0o0

"Your hair is horrible," Coach Sylvester says in passing, eyes not even focusing on him.

He ignores her, watching as the letterman jacket across the hall turns away.

0o0

Blaine calls Noah Puckerman 'Noah.' So do Rachel and Kurt; they seem to be the only ones. Noah generally ignores Blaine, though he does watch out for Blaine as he navigates the hall. Kurt has told Blaine all about Babygate and juvie and the urban legend growing around Puck and his cougars.

The whole thing bothers Blaine, but he has no idea how to help. After all, the last time he tried to intervene with someone else's problems, it ended in stolen kisses and death threats, so. He's a bit hesitant to get involved.

"Who kisses better?" Noah asks, dropping next to him and throwing an arm across the back of Blaine's chair.

Blaine flinches, his book falling out of his hands. "What?" He looks up just in time to catch the disturbed expression on Noah's face before he tucks it behind a smirk.

"Hummel or Berry," Noah says, leaving his arms where it is. "Which of 'em kisses better?"

Santana, Tina, and Artie are the only ones in the choir room, and they're all pretending not to listen. (Well, Santana is watching avidly, but Tina and Artie are more polite about it.)

Blaine knows better than to answer. Either way, he'll get in trouble.

"Kurt," he replies anyway. It's the truth.

Noah studies him. "I've made out with Berry," he says. "All that passion focused on one thing? She's good with her lips and tongue, no matter what she's doin'."

"Puckerman!" Santana says. "Ugh, that's disgusting."

Artie chimes in with, "I can see that." Blaine isn't sure which statement he means.

Tina stays quiet, but Blaine catches her intrigued stare.

Rachel bounces into the room, pulling Finn behind her. Blaine sits up straight, grinning, when he sees Kurt sauntering behind them, having an intense discussion with Brittany.

"You're a lucky little hobbit," Noah mutters in his ear.

"I know," Blaine says.

0o0

The first time Blaine sees Dave Karofsky, neither of them acknowledges the other. The second, third, and fourth times follow that same pattern.

The fifth time, Dave (Blaine calls him 'Dave' because Karofsky stole kisses and issued death threats. Dave apologized with tears) steps between a glaring letterman jacket and Blaine, ordering, "Back off, Dyer."

Dyer sneers at him. "Still protectin' little fags, Karofsky? Guess the bitch is still holdin' your balls."

Dave straightens to his full height. He got taller between prom and senior year, and even broader. "Maybe I'm just done being an immature bully doomed to stay in this cesspool forever," he says evenly. Blaine's surprised he's so well spoken, but Kurt did say that he was an A student before the whole gay freakout happened. "Maybe I realized that the only way out of the rendering plant was to grow the fuck up and get over following the pack."

Dyer rolls his eyes. "Whatever. You can't protect him forever, Karofsky. Him or his _boyfriend_." Dyer says 'boyfriend' like it's the worst, most disgusting thing ever, and for just a moment, Blaine is on the ground, curled up as small as possible, sure that he's going to die sobbing and broken on the dirty pavement.

"You hurt either of them," Dave says quietly, "and I'll beat the shit out of you. And then I'll tell everyone about the summer before freshman year."

Dyer's eyes widen. "Fine," he hisses, giving Blaine one last glare before stalking off. He shoves a kid into a locker and no one reacts, except Blaine wincing.

The only thing this school has going for it is Kurt.

"I'm sorry for how I acted those two times we met," Dave says, turning to face him. "I was scared, and jealous."

"You seem to have gotten over it," Blaine observes, trying to smile.

Dave shrugs. "I grew up. Lima isn't the end-all and be-all, you know?"

"Yeah," Blaine says. "I know."

Dave just looks at him for a long moment. Blaine starts to get nervous all over again, and then Dave tells him, "If anyone hassles you, let me know. And Kurt, too."

Blaine nods, and Dave smiles at him, completely transforming in front of his eyes.

The next time they see each other, Dave nods in acknowledgement. Blaine gives him a smile.


	39. might I kiss those eyes of fire?

**Title**: might I kiss those eyes of fire?

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Lord Byron

**Warnings**: future!fic; dark

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 175

**Point****of****view**: third

**Prompt**: 'I don't care what you do to them, just be good to me' Lyric taken from Professor Green 'just be good to green' but likely another song to. Do with this what you will.

* * *

><p>They keep trophies in a storage locker under Kurt's mother's maiden name. They're all small; a button, a ring, a shoelace. Unnoticeable without the necessary knowledge.<p>

They take turns picking and striking. Only twice have they done it together, and that was their fifth anniversary and a month after Kurt's magazine got off the ground.

It started out as Kurt's idea, after McKinley's jocks went too far and broke two of Blaine's ribs. He still has a letterman jacket tucked away in the back of the storage locker. Blaine was the only one to figure it out, and he simply kissed Kurt.

The next time Kurt felt the urge, he pulled Blaine to him and whispered, "Give me a name."

A dozen trophies over ten years. Once a month Kurt goes to the locker and sorts through them, rearranging as he sees fit. Blaine doesn't need the reminders; he has memories for that. But he indulges Kurt like he always has.

"My turn," he says, leaning down to kiss Kurt's pulse. "Give me a name."


	40. once upon a time

**Title**: once upon a time

**Fandom**: Glee/Supernatural

**Disclaimer**: not my characters

**Warnings**: spoilers for both series

**Pairings**: Brittany/Santana

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 100

**Point** **of** **view**: third

* * *

><p>Once upon a time, there was a pretty little girl with golden hair and she saw things no one else could, she heard things no one else did, and when the yellow-eyed man visited her dreams, he promised that she'd save the world someday.<p>

_When?_ she asked.

_Someday_, he said.

So she waited and she grew, and when she was twelve, she watched the yellow-eyed man die.

She still saw things, she still heard things – like angels and demons and the roar of endings, and then –

_The __cage __is __shut. __We __are __saved_.

She smiled, and kissed Santana, and danced.


	41. all things that rise

**Title**: all things that rise

**Disclaimer**: not my characters

**Warnings**: very much future!fic; remembered violence/assault

**Pairings**: I really can't say (that'll ruin it!)

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 475

**Point****of****view**: third

**Prompt**: Kurt Hummel will forever remember his Junior Prom night as the night he lost his faith in basic human kindness.

* * *

><p>Later, when he's rich and famous and known for dressing the stars, he sits down in his home-office and handwrites out parts of his memoirs. He doesn't flinch away from brutal honesty – he never has in forty years – and he records everything.<p>

Slushy facials. Locker slams. Dumpster dives. Insults and slurs, so many they stop hurting.

A locker-room kiss, stalking, terror, a death threat.

Much of his story was already known as he sat down to write, of course. But some, even decades after the fact, has never before been revealed. He uses their names. He channels all the rage he never let out, the rage he still feels whenever he thinks of those days. He uses the despair, and the pain.

It is a little cathartic. He feels slightly better, finally exorcizing a few of his demons. So many people remember those years as the best of their lives. But his best years came later.

He is rich now. He is famous. The world's most beautiful faces jockey for his favor.

"Come to bed, love," his husband murmurs, leaning over his back and kissing behind his ear.

"In a minute," he replies just as softly, raising a hand to cup his husband's face. "I'm about to write about prom."

"Which one?"

Kurt's pen stills. That's right. "You weren't there," he murmurs. He turns his head, a breath away, and his husband closes the distance with a deep kiss.

He had lost his faith in basic human kindness that night. It was a wound that festered within him, and while he had never loved Blaine more than he did as they danced in that horribly-decorated gym, everything was poisoned and tainted for a very long time.

None of his friendships from high-school survived the transition to college. Few of his college friendships survived his trudging climb to the top.

"Come to bed," his husband entreats, tugging on his hands. "Tell me."

"I love you," he whispers, standing.

His junior prom was one of the lowest points of his life. It ruined things for so long… _but_.

"I love you so much, Charlie," Kurt says, pulling Charlie close. "You saved me."

"I love you, too," Charlie says. "But you saved yourself. Now, are you coming?"

"Of course," Kurt says, following him, their hands still entwined.

(He'll come back to the memoirs tomorrow; the words will still hurt, will still rage, will still despair… but hope will glimmer over them, because the story will end so far from where it started.

And when Blaine's latest hit plays on the radio, Kurt will pull Charlie into a dance and they'll laugh their way around the kitchen, and Kurt will wonder, for the first time in a long time, what all those children he used to know are doing now.

Maybe he'll track them down and see.)


	42. better to die than to crawl

**Title**: better to die than to crawl

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from _Newsies_

**Warnings**: AU for Blame it on the Alcohol

**Pairings**: mentions of Rachel/Blaine, Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 330

**Point ****of ****view**: third

**Prompt**:

Rachel: I deserve to be happy too, you don't know how lonely I am!  
>Kurt: You think you're lonely? How many boyfriends did you had? How many dates you went?<br>Rachel: Some!  
>Kurt: Exactly! Do you know how many boyfriends I had? No? I never had a boyfriend! Every guy I like ends kissing and dating you first, even the gay ones! So don't come near me saying that you're lonely because you don't know anything about being fucking lonely! You can have a crush at any guy you want but me, myself, have to be cautious with who my heart beats faster for! There'll be a possibility that the guy may kill me if I get too close to him!<p>

(Sorry about my terrible English! But this came to my mind and I had to write it here!)

* * *

><p>He stares at her in stunned disbelief. Somewhere beneath the hurt and betrayal, he's <em>so <em>_angry_. He wasn't this angry when he was being tossed in dumpsters or shoved against lockers - he's never been this angry before. Not even at Karofsky.

None of the boys who hurt him were his friends, not then. But Rachel...

_I __deserve __to __be __happy, __too!_ she shouts. _You __don't __know __how __lonely __I __am!_

She had two boys chasing her last year, and went out with a third. She got the boy they both wanted. She can stare at any boy she wants, and flirt with any boy she so desires, and... it's just not fair. And it hurts. It hurts _so __much_, because she's always talking about her two gay dads and she _still __doesn__'__t __get __it_.

And he has a thousand different things he could yell at her. He could absolutely shred her and leave her in tears.

And she'd go running right into a boy's arms, and no one would even fucking _care_.

So he drops the bag, and he turns, and he walks away.

Let her date Blaine. Let her have another boy. Let her have this almost-friendship, and all the solos, and whatever her minuscule heart desires.

_Kurt!_ she calls. _Kurt, __where __are __you __going? __We __still __have __this __mess __to __clean __up._

He could say so many things. Shout so many more. But he holds his head high, and carefully walks up the stairs, and gently closes the door behind him.

There's a world out there, away from Lima and its tiny little piece of sky. There's a whole world waiting for him, and billions of boys to choose from.

She can't even steal Blaine from him – Blaine was never his. Blaine clearly doesn't want him, or see him like that at all. And when Rachel inevitably drops him for the next shiny toy (or the same old dull toy), Kurt will be the best friend Blaine ever had.


	43. I think it mercy, if thou wilt forget

**Title**: I think it mercy, if thou wilt forget

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Donne

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine, Rachel/Finn, Burt/Carole

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 385

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**:

Finn is walking with Rachel or Kurt (as they'd be the two that he'd probably have the quickest reaction for). The other person is in their own world, texting or reviewing notes or something. So, when they cross a street, they're walking slower and Finn is out ahead of them.

That's when he, with his head up, notices a car going through a red light. He can either shout and hope they'll move out of the way, or throw himself forward to knock them to definite safety and get put in danger himself. He only has a second to decide.

He shouts.

The car slams on its brakes and the other person is only somewhat battered, but Finn is horrified at what this says about himself. He sees the picture of his dad and wonders how a hero could have fathered a coward, etc.

* * *

><p>Kurt's still sleeping. He's home now, tucked up good and tight (Burt saw to that). Blaine's stretched out next to him, one hand resting on his neck, the other clutching Kurt's. Burt didn't say a thing about Blaine staying over, or sleeping in Kurt's bed.<p>

Mom finally dragged Burt away, shoving him into their own bed and telling him to lay down, even if he couldn't sleep.

Finn snuck back into Kurt's room, and he stared at his brother for over half the night before finally going to his own bed. He watched the ceiling and didn't close his eyes.

.

Everyone's calling Finn a hero. Burt hugged him and thanked him and got tears on his shirt. Mom kissed him three times (both cheeks and his nose) and told him she was so proud, and his dad would be, too.

Blaine threw himself at Finn and sobbed into his shirt, and just scooted over to make room for Rachel when she did the same.

Kurt doesn't remember what happened. He only knows he woke up on the street, whole body hurting, and Finn was there, shouting at him to be alright, and yelling at the driver who hit him.

As far as anyone knows, he dove in and dragged Kurt out of the way, so it was a glancing blow instead of full-body impact between a teenager and a truck. He saved Kurt's life. Everybody knows that.

He saved Kurt's life at the risk of his own.

.

Kurt will never remember that afternoon, the lunch he and Finn shared, or the text he was sending to Blaine.

Finn will never forget that moment. It lasted forever, watching Kurt - completely oblivious - and the truck gunning through the redlight. Finn will never forget thinking, _I can push him out of the way._

Finn will never forget thinking, _But I might get hurt._

And Finn will always remember, for the rest of his life, that he shouted, "Kurt!" and Kurt jerked his head up, and saw the truck, and jumped out of the way.

The truck still hit him. The driver didn't even see him till he was already on the ground.

Finn will never _ever _forget thinking he killed his brother.

.

Everyone calls Finn a hero.

Finn knows otherwise, but he never says a word.


	44. laughter is bitter to the burned mouth

**Title**: laughter is bitter to the burned mouth

**Fandom**: Glee

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Denise Levertov

**Warnings**: spoilers for aired season 3; mentions of child abuse

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine, Finn/Rachel, Burt/Carole

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 1170

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: Finn's the only one home when Blaine shows up with a black eye, dried blood on his face, and a suitcase.

Bonus if Finn attempts to make Blaine warm milk because Kurt's convinced him it was healing powers.

* * *

><p>Finn's just settled in with a <em>Transformers <em>marathon when someone knocks on the door. He heaves a huge sigh, sets aside his bowl of popcorn and gets up, dragging his feet on the way to the door.

Burt and Mom are at a fundraiser, and Kurt's out on a girl-date with Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina. If any one of 'em had been home, Finn would be learning all about the All-Spark right now. (Which, fine, okay, he already knows all about it. But it's still awesome!)

He swings open the door, trying to decide if he should be _helpful Congressman's stepson_ or _belligerent, annoyed teenager_, and then he sees who's standing there.

"Blaine?" he asks, tilting his head. "Kurt's not here, dude."

There's a duffle slung over his shoulder. All of his weight's on one foot. He doesn't raise his head as he asks, "Can I please come in? I won't get in your way, or bother you, just... please."

Finn frowns at him. He has to admit, he still doesn't like Blaine all that much, but Blaine's a good guy. He's awesome to Kurt. And, yeah, he hogs the spotlight, but so does Rachel. At least Blaine tries to share it, sometimes.

"Sure," Finn says, stepping back. "I'm watching _Transformers_."

"Thank you," Blaine murmurs, but he still doesn't look up as he limps into the house.

.

Blaine goes straight upstairs and into Kurt's room, gently shutting the door behind him.

Finn tries calling Kurt, but his phone's off.

He looks longingly at the TV and his nest on the couch, then trudges into the kitchen to make that warm-milk stuff Kurt always brings him.

As he carefully carries two boiling-hot mugs up the stairs, he realizes that the sound he's hearing is muffled sobs.

Well, fuck.

He pauses on the top stair, caught between going back downstairs and waiting for someone else to deal with this - _whatever_t his is - or taking care of it himself. He's got warm milk, after all. Whenever Kurt gives it to him, it solves all their problems.

And Blaine, well. Isn't he a part of Kurt, now?

Finn nods, resolved. He'll fix this, just like he did Sectionals.

He walks up the door and calls softly, "Hey, Blaine? I brought you some milk. Wanna open the door?"

Finn counts the seconds; it takes over a minute before Blaine opens the door. He still won't look up at Finn, and he's wearing Kurt's favorite pajamas. "Finn," he says, "I'm really tired."

"Here," Finn says, holding out a mug. "Talk to me, dude. I can help."

Blaine laughs; it's bitter, and sharp, and Finn flinches back as Blaine raises his head.

Blaine has a pretty bad black eye, a split lip, and there's still some blood at his hairline that he must have missed. All his weight's on his left foot again, and now that he's not holding the duffle, Finn can see the way he's holding his left arm, up tight against his ribs.

"Who was it?" Finn demands, almost spilling the milk before he catches himself.

He's shocked at how angry he is. But - Blaine is _Kurt's_, and what's Kurt's is Finn's. That's how brothers work.

"It doesn't matter," Blaine says tiredly. "Please, just... let me rest. You can't do anything, Finn."

Finn stares at him. He's never really known what to make of Blaine. Before the dude transferred and started hogging all the attention in glee, he liked him well enough. Sure, it was weird that Kurt was fawning over him all the time before Blaine noticed how awesome Kurt was, but at least Blaine did eventually return his feelings. Sometimes, Finn still wishes he was even a little gay, because Kurt is an awesome boyfriend. And Blaine knew about the Karofsky thing before anyone else did, and apparently, tried to fix it, but couldn't. (Which, duh. Blaine's a little guy, even if he _did _start a Fight Club at Dalton.) But he hurt Kurt a lot, too. And that's not cool.

_Like you haven't,_ a voice that sounds suspiciously like Puck hisses in his mind, so Finn shakes his head. "What happened?" he asks, carefully pushing his way past Blaine and setting the mugs on Kurt's desk. He straightens, crosses his arms, and looks down at Blaine, trying for Mom's _talk to me _face.

It doesn't work, and Blaine glares up at him. "You can't help," he says in voice Finn hasn't heard him use before, not even when he was pounding that bag. "I want to sleep and wait for my boyfriend, so fuck off, Finn."

Finn's eyes widen. He didn't know Blaine could cuss. He's always so… happy. And bouncy. "You should call your parents, at least," Finn says, trying not to be hurt. Kurt also lashes out sometimes, and it's not Finn he's mad at. And at least Blaine doesn't know any of Finn's secrets to use against him. Somehow, Kurt knows them all.

Blaine laughs that awful laugh again. "Calling my parents won't help," he says. "If anything, that'll make things exponentially worse."

Finn isn't sure what 'exponentially' means, but the rest…

Blaine has a duffle bag. He's beaten up. He doesn't want to go home or call his parents.

Finn may be dumb, but he's not stupid. And he can't deal with this. He wishes he could, but he got Quinn kicked out her house once, and Puck taught him that the best thing to do when a friend needs sanctuary is to give it. Telling adults doesn't always work – most of the time, in fact, it doesn't. But Burt… he's the coolest guy Finn's ever met.

"Drink your milk," Finn says, slipping past Blaine to leave the room. "Get some rest."

Blaine watches him with wary eyes, the anger drained out of him. "What're you gonna do?" he asks.

Shrugging, Finn says, "Watch _Transformers _and wait for Kurt to come home." He pauses in the hall, turning. "You should tell Burt."

Blaine looks away. "I don't want to cause trouble," he murmurs. "I just need…"

_Somewhere safe_, he doesn't say. Puck used to need that, too. Still does, sometimes, when his mom drinks too much. But Puck's a big guy now. He wasn't always, but he is now. But Blaine… Blaine's so little.

"Blaine," Finn says softly. "You're one of us. You're Burt's, just like you're Kurt's." _And mine,_ he adds in his head. _And Mom's_. "Burt takes good care of us, you know."

Blaine sighs. "I'm so tired," he mutters, shifting a little before freezing with a hiss of pain.

And, wow, Finn hasn't wanted to kick the shit out of someone so much since he learned Karofsky threatened to kill Kurt. "Get some rest," he orders. "You're safe here."

He backs away, waiting at the top of the stairs until he hears the door closed.

And then he sprints downstairs, digs his phone out of his nest, and alternates calling Kurt and Burt and Mom until one of them picks up.


	45. what is he running from

**Title**: what is he running from, the world or the end of it?

**Fandom**: Glee

**Disclaimer**: not my characters

**Warnings**: supernatural!AU; character death

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine, Santana/Brittany, Burt/Carole

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 380

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

* * *

><p>"Don't be sad," Brittany says, dropping beside him. She rests her head on his shoulder, arms wrapping around him, and he really wants to turn to her, cuddle in as close as he can, and sob.<p>

Kurt's been gone for three weeks.

.

The thing is, Blaine knows it's not his fault. He really does. Even Burt told him so, and if anyone were going to blame him, he knows it'd be Kurt's dad.

But Burt doesn't hate him. No one does. That makes everything worse.

.

Rachel tried singing to him, right after. Mercedes hadn't stopped crying at that point, and Santana was yelling about something that didn't matter, and Puck was still cutting class, and Finn walked around in a daze.

Nobody knew what to do, so Rachel tried the thing that had worked before.

It didn't, not then and not now. Blaine hasn't sung since.

He's pretty sure he'll never sing again.

.

_'Sweetie,' Kurt says, curling up next to him in bed, brushing his fingers through Blaine's hair. 'What are you doing?'_

_'Grieving,' Blaine mutters, eyes closed. He knows he's dreaming._

_'Do you think I want you to just... **exist** like this forever?' Kurt asks. 'You need to start living again, Blaine. Mourn, if you must, but **live**, too.'_

_Blaine shakes his head, turning and opening his eyes. Kurt's there, smiling sadly. Solid and beautiful. 'I can't do this without you, Kurt,' he says._

_Kurt bites his lip, meeting Blaine's eyes. 'If I... you could join me, Blaine. I mean, we couldn't stay here, of course. And, god, I miss Dad. But you... you haven't even begun to move on, so I think...'_

_'Yes,' Blaine says. 'Please.'_

_Slowly, Kurt reaches up and rests his hand on the back of Blaine's neck, where it meets his skull. 'Are you sure?' he whispers._

_Blaine nods._

.

"I don't understand," Rachel sobs. Finn just buries his face in her hair, unable to stop his own sobs.

Burt wanders around the house, staring at pictures of Kurt. Mom bakes up a storm, and the glee club practically moves in.

Only Brittany doesn't cry. She just asks Santana, "Why's everyone so sad? They're still singing. Can't you hear?"

Santana pats her hand, wiping at her tears. "Sure, Britt," she mutters.

Brittany shrugs and tilts her head, smiling.


	46. turn down the noise in my mind

**Title**: turn down the noise in my mind

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Carly Simon

**Warnings**: mentions of non-con, child abuse, bullying, violence, language

**Pairings**: Shelby/Puck, OFCs/Puck, Ryerson/Puck

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 985

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**:

Shelby gives in and her relationship with Puck becomes a lot more serious. When Figgins finds out that Puck and Shelby have slept together he calls a meeting in his office. With Puck, Shelby, Will and Emma all the room, he explains what he's found out, expresses concern about it and then he fires Shelby.

Puck is so angry that he doesn't even realize what's coming out of his mouth until he finds himself asking why everyone cares so much that he slept with a teacher when he was eighteen and he wanted to when no one has ever cared that he slept with a teacher when he was fifteen and didn't.

Cue epic guilt as all Puck's previous hints about Mr. Ryerson come flying back into the other's minds.

* * *

><p>For awhile, Puck thought he might be bi. He did a little research and learned that's what it was called if someone liked looking at both boys and girls.<p>

His pool cleaning business was booming and he'd been having fun with cougars for two years when he decided he was totally straight and refused to look at guys like that ever again.

That was about the time he began tormenting Kurt Hummel, too.

.

He wasn't raped. He's watched some of Mom's Lifetime channel movies (always with her, understood?), and he knows that he wasn't raped because guys can't be raped. Especially not studly, tough boys by balding, chubby, sweaty music teachers. No how, no way.

Shut the fuck up and get out.

.

The cougars were fun, hot and demanding and such good teachers. Puck liked making them feel good, and most of them took care of him, too. No harm, no foul. Just fun.

But that thing that never happened… it wasn't fun at all. It hurt. And the worst part was, he _knows _he could have stopped it, but he froze.

And that flamboyant little fag, Hummel… how could he _want _something like that? He had to be punished.

Every time Hummel landed in the dumpster, every time he hit the lockers, it was like a punch in that monster's face, like a kick straight to his balls.

.

Shelby's hot. She's like a grown-up, not-crazy Rachel. All the good parts (_fuck_, but that _voice_) with none of the bad.

And, she's his daughter's mother. A responsible, successful, not-at-all-crazy mom for his kid. Nothing bad there.

His default with a hot woman is to flirt. And she smiles at him. She invites him over for time with Beth, three nights a week, and his baby girl is so sweet. He adored the thought of her, and then her as a newborn, and she's back now, all tufts of blonde hair and hazel eyes and the sweetest smile in the world. And Shelby lets him have that.

When he kisses her in thanks, she kisses back.

.

Puck needs to talk to someone. All of his options suck, and telling Quinn is a bad idea, he knows that as he's talking, but he's in _love _with Shelby and he has to talk, okay?

And Quinn listens. She gets him to spill everything about Shelby, and that first night, and the three times since.

.

The next morning, Puck's called to Figgins' office, and Shelby and Ma and Schue and even Ms. Pillsbury are there.

"Puckerman," Figgins says, "please tell us the truth. Did you and Ms. Corcoran have sex?"

Puck looks at her, but she doesn't meet his eyes. He glances at Ma; she's hungover and tired and seems weary.

Schue says, "Puck, please. The truth."

"So what if we did?" Puck asks. "I'm eighteen."

Shelby closes her eyes. Schue's eyes widen, and Ms. Pillsbury gasps, and Ma sags down.

Figgins freaks the fuck out, and Ma meets him just as loud. Puck stares at him as he shouts about lawsuits and cops and never working in this town again, and Puck really doesn't get it. He's never seen Figgins like this before. From what Finn's told him, Figgins didn't act like this even when Karofsky threatened to kill Kurt. What the hell?

"Why is this a big deal?" Puck finally demands, and Ma and Figgins both stop shouting.

"Noah," Ms. Pillsbury says, "you're a student. Ms. Corcoran is an authority figure. Even if you _are _legally an adult, she has power over you and she's taken advantage of it."

"How many times?" Ma cuts in, glaring at Shelby. "How many times, you bitch, did you put your hands on my son?"

"Why do you all give a shit now?" Puck doesn't mean to ask it. He knows that it's better if people don't know about the cougars, but he really doesn't get it. He was barely fourteen the first time he played with a cougar. If something was really wrong with it, then why did Vanessa take him to bed?

"Now?" Ma repeats, turning to face him. "Noah…"

Puck shakes his head. "I'm eighteen," he says again. "And I wanted it. Hell, I kissed her first. Why do you care now, when you didn't before?"

And, _oh_, he did _not _mean to say that.

"Before?" Schue parrots, and Puck's about done with this.

"Yeah, _before_," Puck says. He looks at Figgins, at the spineless bastard who let him torment kids for so long, and who still gives bullies full run, and he shakes his head again. "I know I should'a fought, but I didn't – I was so scared, and I think he slipped me somethin' 'cause I knew _then _I should'a fought. But no one noticed."

Ma's mouth drops open. "You mean," she starts. "I noticed… you just got so angry, out of nowhere, and I didn't know what to do." She begins crying and Puck cringes. He hates making Ma cry.

Figgins hisses, "Ryerson."

Puck winces, and his eyes hit the floor.

"Oh, fuck," Schue mutters.

Someone touches Puck's shoulder; he flinches back, and can't be there anymore.

He runs.

.

Finn's the one who finds him later, because they're still each other's boys.

"How you doin'?" he asks, dropping beside Puck in their super-secret hideout from when they were eight years old.

"I'm fine," Puck says.

Finn nudges his shoulder. "I know we've had our problems," Finn says quietly, sounding like the boy who let Puck cry all over him and share his bed for a week after Dad left. "But I'll listen, Noah. If you wanna talk."

Puck doesn't want to talk. He really doesn't.

He takes a deep breath. "You know about the cougars?" he asks. Finn nods. Puck says, "That's how it all started."

Finn doesn't interrupt. And when Puck starts crying, Finn leans in and offers his shoulder, and lets Puck cry.


	47. I'm not drowning

**Title**: I hate to break it to you, babe, but I'm not drowning

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from "King of Anything"; all song excerpts belong to someone who is not me

**Warnings**: AUish for season 3

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG  
><strong>Wordcount<strong>: 665

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**: I would love it if someone sang "King of Anything" to Will. And I will have your babies if you have Kurt be the one singing it.

**Note**: the prompter then commented that singing to Finn was fine, as well, as long as Kurt sang the song.

* * *

><p>"Your song this week should send a message," Schue announces, clapping his hands together. "Anything you want, to anyone you want."<p>

Kurt tilts his head, pondering. He glances at Blaine, then at Finn, and back to Schue.

There is something he's been wanting to say.

.

"What are you going to do?" Blaine asks on the way to Smoothie King. "I'm thinking of 'Heads, Carolina; Tails, California'."

Kurt snorted. "I'd need a better invitation than anything in that song, sweetie."

"Well, of course," Blaine laughed. "I'll have roses and chocolate for that."

Smiling, Kurt leaned in for a quick kiss. "I'm pondering," he said. "There are two songs possible, but I haven't decided yet."

.

Finn snarks at Blaine, belittles him and mocks him. Everyone looks away.

Kurt glares, but Blaine doesn't want him intervening. Wants to deal with it on his own.

Schue says nothing. Of course he doesn't. Finn's his golden boy.

Kurt chooses his song.

.

Blaine sings, "Could I have this dance for the rest of my life? Would you be my partner every night? When we're together it feels so right - could I have this dance for the rest of my life?" and doesn't take his eyes off of Kurt.

Kurt blushes but smiles and licks his lips, and Blaine lights up, his song somehow becoming more passionate.

_Yes,_ Kurt thinks. _Yes, you silly, lovely boy. A thousand times yes. All for you._

.

When it's Kurt's turn, he smiles at Blaine before looking directly at Finn and saying, "This is for my brother. There are a few things I've been wanting to tell you for – well, quite a while, now. But the time never seemed right, and a part of me still wishes you'd just get it for yourself."

Kurt doesn't understand why Finn was friends with Blaine before the start of the year and then turned on him. Kurt doesn't understand why Finn has become so mean. And he's so tired of Finn's muttered comments at home. He used to hang on Finn's every word, back when Finn was the nicest bully, and Finn's shower-curtain dress was a wonderful touch. But Finn is being so childish, and thinks he's so amazing, and Kurt's done with it.

Finn sits up straight in his chair, eyes wide. Santana raises an eyebrow. Kurt just smiles some more and sings to his brother. "Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table while I look outside. So many things I'd say if only I were able, but I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by." Finn blinks, and it's so obvious he still doesn't get it. Honestly, Kurt's starting to think he'll never will.

But he keeps looking Finn directly in the eyes, and he sings what he's been dying to say for months. "Who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be? Who died and made you king of anything?" he demands, and Finn flinches. Santana claps, and Rachel tries to lunge to her feet, but Santana grabs her.

Kurt ignores them, continuing, staring Finn down. "All my life I've tried to make everybody happy, while I just hurt and hide, waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide."

A duet never sung, connections never made, trying to hide and being unable. Surviving, but not living. He's done with that.

He pauses for a moment before the end, standing tall and strong, unbroken. And then he stabs Finn straight in the heart, like he's been stabbed so often before. "Let me hold your crown, babe," he purrs, smiling his coldest, sweetest smile.

No one says anything as the music ends. Kurt lifts his head high, smiling.

.

Finn doesn't talk to him for over a week. Kurt really doesn't care.

"You didn't have to do that for me," Blaine tells him, holding his hand as they walk to their cars.

"Of course I did," Kurt replies, lifting Blaine's hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles.


	48. I would not stay

**Title**: For all the world's wealth I would not stay

**Fandom**: Glee

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

**Warnings**: spoilers for 3.13; mentions of stalking/violence/assault/bullying; panic attack

**Pairings**: unrequited Karofsky/Kurt; Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 465

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Note**: Let's just say that in the spirit of fairness, since they were going to let Finn spend the night at Rachel's, Kurt's parents let him stay at Blaine's.  
><strong>Prompt<strong>: Spoilers for 3.13 Heart-Kurt, Karofsky, stalking/previous fears resufacing

"It's the fear that's the worst. I never know when it's coming. I can't concentrate. I don't feel like I'm a part of this school at all. _**I feel like I'm in a horror movie where this creature follows me around**_terrifying me and there's nothing I can do about it."

- Kurt's speech about Karofsky in _Furt._

Now, a year later, Karofsky follows Kurt around in a gorilla suit, putting things in his locker, and writing things like "be mine forever" and drawing Kurt away from the crowd under false pretenses so they can be alone.

Kurt thought he had forgiven him. He thought they could be friends. He thought he was over this nightmare. He thought everything was okay now, damnit.

But it's really, really not.

(tl;dr: Kurt relapses/has a panic attack when he realizes, post-Valentine's Day, just what all Karofsky did as his secret admirer, and how much it reminds him of how Karofsky was at his absolute worst.)

* * *

><p>It isn't until that night, his arms around Blaine as they fall asleep, that Kurt finally lets himself think about his 'secret admirer.' About who spent the week following him around, disguised, writing him notes and leaving things in his locker.<p>

He'd _gotten past it_. He forgave Karofsky_ ages_ ago. They sat in Scandals and talked like adults, and Kurt thought they'd ended things on a good note. Karofsky had matured as a person, and Kurt was _happy _for him. Really happy.

But to think, for even one minute… Kurt shudders and shifts around, so that he can tuck his head beneath Blaine's chin. Blaine, his boyfriend. Blaine, his savior. Blaine, who drove almost two hours the day after they met just because Kurt called him.

Kurt has spent the week telling everyone about his secret admirer, about how wonderful his boyfriend is, how romantic, how sweet. And tomorrow, when everyone asks (will anyone ask?), what does he say? He can't possibly explain without going back to the beginning, and what's the point of drudging all that up again?

"Kurt?" Blaine mumbles, arms tightening around him. "Y'kay?"

"Fine," Kurt murmurs.

He tries his hardest to shake it all off. To reach that point he had before Breadstix, where he'd forgiven everything and buried it deep.

The only dream he remembers in the morning is being trapped in the locker room, Karofsky's hands on him, and Karofsky's voice whispering in his ear, _You're mine forever_.

He wakes up crying to Blaine's panicked questions, and lunges off the bed, hurrying to the toilet so he can purge all the candy from his body.

Of course, that doesn't reassure Blaine at all. But he just crouches next to Kurt, supports his weight, and keeps up a steady murmur of, "You're alright, it'll be okay, you're okay, it'll be alright."

He can feel bruises on his back, bruises he hasn't had in over a year. He feels tainted, and sick, and he can't stop shuddering.

"Babe," Blaine says, "please. Tell me what's wrong."

It's like the week they met all over again. He'd _gotten past this_. Karofsky had moved on, Kurt had forgiven him, and it was all _over_.

But it's not. Karofsky spent a week stalking him. Let him think it was Blaine, and honestly seemed to think they could ever be together. Kurt heaves again, and Blaine says, "Kurt."

Kurt falls back against him and asks, "Please just hold me."

So Blaine does. They go back to bed and burrow beneath the covers, and Kurt stutters out the whole thing, and Blaine clenches his jaw, but his hands are gentle on Kurt's skin.

"I love you," Blaine tells him.

Kurt's smile is shaky and he closes his eyes and he listens to Blaine hum 'Somewhere Only We Know.'


	49. And I question who we are waiting for

**Title**: And I question who we are waiting for

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from C. Day-Lewis

**Warnings**: AU; character death; implied violence

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 600

**Point of view**: third

**Prompt**:

I am madly in love with Kurt, especially in its worst moments ... so

Everyone is Born with the name of Their soulmate On Their hand

Kurt also, only... the owner of that name died (no matter as, only he's dead).

This can take many paths, Kurt would expect someone who never appeared, or could somehow know

I know it's confusing but that's the basic idea

* * *

><p>In the beginning, when Kurt is very young, only the first letter of the first name is visible: <em>B<em>.

Mama and Kurt go through a dozen name books, Mama helping him sound out the hardest. Kurt says that it'll have to be Daddy's name, because he loves Daddy and he'll marry Daddy someday. Mama laughs and ruffles his hair, telling him that Daddy's already taken.

The day Mama dies, the rest of the letters fill in and _Blaine _is written out across his palm.

In a few years, Dad will tell Kurt that he's known since Kurt was three. That's five years longer than Kurt knew.

.

Starting the January Kurt is ten, the last name starts appearing, a letter a month. By August, the whole thing is there: _Anderson_. Middle names appearing are rare, but Kurt can't help wishing it had, too.

Kurt checks all of the local schools' yearbooks, of course. And he still keeps his hand firmly hidden from everyone.

.

When Kurt is thirteen and walking to class, deftly avoiding the bullies, he trips over nothing, gasps because he suddenly can't breathe, and passes out. There isn't a mark on him, no physical reason for what happened. The doctor at the ER tells Dad that it was a reaction to something that happened to his soulmate.

"But he'll be okay?" Dad asks, and the doctor assures him Kurt will be fine.

.

In November of ninth grade, one night Dad works late, Kurt is watching Project Runway reruns when pain suddenly flares in his ribs. His legs. His stomach, his back, his arms. He can't even get the breath to scream, and he can't move, can only try to ride it out. Finally, the pain recedes, except for a burning on his right palm.

He turns over his hand and watches, tears falling, as each letter vanishes, until only the _B _remains – and then his palm is empty.

His soulmate is dead.

.

Dad keeps Kurt home for the rest of the week. There's mention of a gay bashing after a dance a few hours away; Dad quickly changes the channel, but Kurt goes to the internet.

Blaine Anderson died after a beating; his date, Marty Dyer, remains in critical condition. Charges are pending for the three boys who attacked them.

Blaine Anderson died at 9:17 pm. His name is no longer on Kurt's palm. Kurt sobs himself to sleep for months.

.

Everyone knows what happens to the people whose hands are empty. They languish. They fall into depression.

Usually, they kill themselves. Dad knows that as well as Kurt does.

.

Somehow, the worst bully at school finds out Kurt no longer has a soulmate. Kurt hasn't told anyone he's gay, and nobody ever knew whose name Kurt had, but his tormenters take great delight in mocking him, taunting him, saying the worst possible things.

Kurt doesn't even cry anymore.

And finally, in February, just after Valentine's Day in Kurt's freshman year, Dad can't take it any longer. He sits Kurt down at the kitchen table and offers him a choice.

"We can move," Dad says, "anywhere you want, kiddo. Or you can transfer. I found this school a couple hours away – they've got a no-bullying policy. It's enforced, I checked."

Kurt stares at the brochure Dad has, and then the information packet. He says faintly, "Can I think about it?"

Dad nods, and doesn't bring it up again for a month.

But in March, bruises all down his back and limping, Kurt asks Dad, "_Please_, can we get _out _of this town?"

"Okay," Dad says, and they begin listing all the requirements for a new place to live.

.

In fifteen years, when Kurt is working his way up in the fashion industry, when he's dating someone new every few months, when he's trying so hard to be happy… he'll sit down, sometimes, wherever he is, and he'll trace a _B _on his right palm. He'll wonder about that boy. He'll imagine all the lives they could've had.

Most people whose hands are empty suicide.

Kurt never does.


	50. a land more kind than home

**Title**: a land more kind than home

**Fandom**: Supernatural/Glee

**Disclaimer**: I made up an angel. The rest aren't mine. Title from Thomas Wolfe

**Warnings**: AUish for Supernatural; spoilers for up till the end of season 6; character death

**Pairings**: none

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 650

**Point** **of** **view**: third

**Prompt**: Supernatural crossover. Kurt is a vessel. Kurt's mother didn't die when he was eight. She became a vessel for an angel. Years later, Kurt's mother is destroyed in the middle of a battle. The angel decides to go to Kurt as vessel, as the bloodline ends with him.

* * *

><p>Kathryn dies in blinding light and Arianel flees her brother (<em>Castiel, Castiel, my brother, what have you become?<em>), flying across the cosmos in an instant.

Arianel is weak, her grace bleeding out through a score of minor cuts (_Castiel, Castiel, my brother, what have you done?_) and she collapses onto the dirt, burning it where she falls. She sighs, murmuring out a prayer – Father does not respond. Has not responded in… a very long time.

But she must rejoin the battle. She chose her side – the side of her brothers and sisters, the side she fought on during the Great Battle, when Sammael threw himself from Heaven to become Lucifer. Castiel has mirrored his journey, it seems, but refuses to submit. Instead, Castiel continues fighting, and he is so strong… so horrifically strong. Arianel knows that no angel left in any garrison can defeat him, not since Michael was pulled into the cage with Lucifer. Raphael, Gabriel, Uriel – even Zachariah. All gone. The greatest of the angels, destroyed. And no one left to equal Castiel, in all his magnificence and terror.

Arianel does not despair. She was created by Father, and her remaining brothers and sisters need her. But she must rest, and there is nowhere safe from Castiel (_oh my brother, my brother, what has happened to you?_) save resting deep inside a vessel.

But Kathryn (_oh, my sweet Kathryn, my friend, my home_) is dead. Arianel wishes she could go to Heaven and find the lovely woman who housed her for seven human years (eternity, and a single moment), but Castiel's forces guard the gates and Arianel would need to regain her strength before attempting to sneak in, and that would take a long time…

Kathryn had a son. Arianel had sworn to protect him; that, and her lingering, painful death from cancer had been the only reason she agreed to Arianel's request. Kathryn's son is the only person left of the bloodline that could house Arianel, and she has not thought of the child in – well, seven human years. Not since Kathryn said yes. She knew the child was healthy, and that was enough.

Gathering all the strength left to her, Arianel throws herself across the world. She collapses on a well-kept lawn, invisible to all except the possible vessel: Kurt, Kathryn's only child. And there he is, looking so much like his mother that Arianel aches.

"Holy shit," he whispers, staring down at her. He looks around, but thankfully no one else is there. Just Arianel and Kathryn's son, and she sighs in relief. Soon (_so soon, Kathryn, maybe I'll find you in him_)

_Kurt_, she says. _Kurt, I need you_. Gently, she puts all the knowledge in his mind. His mother, the war, all that is required of him now. She reaches out for him, her beloved Kathryn's child, her shelter from Castiel (_my brother, my brother, do you remember how it was in the beginning?_)

He pulls away. He stares at her, those ice-eyes glinting, looking so much like his mother. Except his mother's eyes were never so cold.

"No," he says, and turns away.

Arianel slumps down, watching him go, and mourns – Kathryn, and the garrisons gutted by war, and Castiel, always Castiel, _brother, I am so weary_.

And he is there, strong and fierce, a warrior from Heaven, the terrible lie Heaven has become.

_Sister_, he says. _I offer you now a choice. Come home with me._

_Or? _she murmurs, looking past him, at the bluest of skies (blue as Kathryn's eyes).

_Or perish here, Arianel_, he tells her gently, sounding as remote as Father ever has.

Arianel is tired, and aching, and wishes she could curl up in Kathryn, warm and safe and loved. Oh, Kathryn had been so wonderful.

_Please,_ she whispers. _Castiel… _

He smiles, and as the light flares, he says, _Be at peace, my sister_.

And Arianel rests.


	51. I feel your mouth touch mine

Title: A beginner, I feel your mouth touch mine

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton

Warnings: way future!fic

Pairings: post-Kurt/Blaine, Kurt/OMC, Blaine/OMC

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 155

Point of view: third

Prompt: Glee, Kurt/Blaine, Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

* * *

><p>Kurt will never forget his first love. He will swear until the day he dies that Blaine saved his life, and they remain the best of friends.<p>

They don't go out in a blaze of glory, in doors slammed or phones thrown against the wall. They fade away, a lingering burn they feel even years later, sometimes, when their eyes meet across the room, Kurt's arms around Ben and Blaine holding Theo's hand.

_I still love you, you silly, wonderful, boy,_ Kurt thinks, listening to Blaine talk about the kids in his music class, knowing that if it only took love, they'd be together until the end of the world. But no one can live on dreams and hope and the flame of love, and he looks at Ben, laughing at Blaine's anecdote, and then at Theo, gazing at Blaine like Blaine used to watch Kurt, and he knows that being friends for life is amazing, too.


	52. Others will teach us how to dare

**Title**: Others will teach us how to dare

**Disclaimer**: not my characters; title from Matthew Arnold

**Warnings**: AU; mentions of violence and bullying

**Pairings**: Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: PG

**Wordcount**: 595

**Point** **of** **view**: third

* * *

><p>Kurt sees the sign-up sheet on the bulletin board. Ryerson is out; Schuester's taking over. Schuester, the teacher who walks by every morning, greets the jocks, nods to Kurt, and keeps going. Blind, oblivious – claims to be such a good guy and never offers Kurt even the appearance of sympathy.<p>

Kurt likes to sing. But Rachel Berry's name is on the sheet, and she's even lower on the totem pole of McKinley than Kurt is, and she's an attention-hog to boot.

Kurt goes home and makes a list of his interests. It includes French (for his mom), theater, singing, music, Broadway, fashion, designing outfits, German (for the grandparents who died when he was a baby), The Sound of Music, writing (the usual angsty poetry of outcasts, lyrics that are actually halfway decent, short stories, and a screenplay, so far), and New York City.

So. He stares at the list and wonders what to do. To survive, he needs to not stand out. To thrive, he needs a creative outlet.

Does he want to survive or thrive?

.

Kurt never puts his name on New Directions' sign-up sheet. He does join the French Club, and he focuses on writing and designing and schoolwork. He keeps his head down, dresses how he likes, and joins the Cheerios as a junior, as Coach Sylvester's pet singer.

No one dares mess with him while wearing the Cheerio uniform because Coach protects her own. They win Nationals, even though the three glee club girls on the team quit at the last minute.

He puts down Coach Sylvester as a reference when he applies to every college in New York.

His dad and Coach are the only people he tells when every school sends back an acceptance letter.

Kurt chooses NYU and never looks back.

.

During his first semester at Parsons for an MFA, Kurt goes to a bar with some acquaintances. He's been learning how to make friends, since leaving Ohio, and while he hasn't found any lasting ones yet, acquaintances to bitch about professors and classes with are nice.

The bar has live entertainment. Kurt gives him a glance, a cute guy with wild hair and a pleasant voice, then laughs at Terry's barb about Hutchins, and doesn't notice when the guy thanks them all and heads out.

He sees the guy again on the way home a week later, and then back at the bar when he goes the next night, after acing a particularly brutal project. This time, he listens to the music.

This time, he catches the guy's eye and invites him to the next stool over when the guy's set is done.

.

Blaine has the best laugh. And he's from Ohio, too. Lived an hour and a half away from Kurt for eighteen years, and now they've met in New York. It's like fate or something.

.

Kurt doesn't often think about McKinley. He and Blaine share horror stories about high-school, and Blaine wins hands-down. Kurt may have been tossed into dumpsters and against lockers, but he was never beaten into the ground. None of his bones were ever broken.

McKinley is the past. Kurt survived. He survived, and he's in New York, and a beautiful boy is smiling at him.

"Go to dinner with me?" he asks, trailing one fingertip along the back of Blaine's hand.

Blaine nods, ducking his head a little.

.

Kurt's on the road to all of his dreams, holding Blaine's hand, and they're out of tiny little Ohio towns, standing in the bright lights, and it's all Kurt has ever wanted.


	53. we're bleeding and we're torn

Title: we're bleeding and we're torn

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Roseanne Cash

Warnings: suicidal ideation; mentions of violence

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 230

Point of view: third

Prompt: any, any/any, death pact - two completely in love [people] make a pact that when one dies, the other will join them, if not b[y] dying with them from the same cause then by taking their own life

* * *

><p>Once upon a time, Blaine Anderson thought about killing himself. He'd been beaten and left for dead, and none of his 'friends' wanted to talk to him. His dad could barely look at him.<p>

But his grandfather footed the bill for a transfer to an entirely new school, one where there were uniforms so everyone looked the same. And the students talked to him. Listened to him. His roommate (who didn't care that he was gay! who asked what his type was and tried to set him up with a friend!) convinced him to try out for the show choir, and everyone praised him, and it was _amazing_.

At Dalton, he didn't want to die anymore.

.

Once upon a time, Kurt Hummel thought about killing himself. Then he snuck into someone else's school and met a beautiful boy on the stairs, and the boy took his hand and sang to him and listened and understood, and promised, _Courage. It gets better._

Every single time Kurt thought about killing himself, after that wonderful afternoon, the beautiful boy texted or called him.

So Kurt survived long enough that he no longer wanted to die.

.

Curled up together on Blaine's bed (too small, really, but it doesn't matter), Kurt whispers, _Promise you'll never leave me behind._

_I swear_, Blaine murmurs, _if you promise the same_.

They seal it with a kiss.


	54. then they came for me

Title: then they came for me

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: mentions of bullying; suicidal ideation; AUish for the end of season 3

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 515

Point of view: second

Prompt: Any, any, Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak for me.

* * *

><p>Kurt Hummel had never been popular. He'd also never been invisible.<p>

(Not entirely accurate, you think - yes, the teachers never saw how bad things got, his friends didn't notice how close he came to a sharp knife and final sleep... but, for those few, terrifying weeks, he was all Dave Karofsky thought about. So. He wasn't invisible, though he'd wished he was.)

Kurt stood up to the bullies every time he climbed out of the dumpster, every time he straightened his spine after hitting the lockers, every time he held his head high and walked through the halls. Every time he sang, every time he dressed in the morning, every time he held hands with his boyfriend.

He pulled attention, yes. And no one (no, not even you) noticed it was intentional. Noticed that as the months passed, before his father sent him away, that he was the focus.

Because Kurt Hummel was strong. He could take it all, and keep going. And when he came back, for that charade of Santana and Karofsky (yes, of course you knew, _everyone _knew), things were better.

And he did. He took it all, chin tilted defiantly, and he stood on that stage, crowned queen, and he danced with his boyfriend, and it was like he was lit up inside.

Kurt Hummel had never been popular. Never been invisible. Never been untouchable. And he was strong, so strong. And during his senior year, the bullying stuck to intangibles – verbal barbs and glares, mostly. No one tried to throw him in a dumpster, or anyone. No more port-a-potty torments. Not even locker-slams. A few slushy facials, but nothing memorable.

Because something was different. Karofsky vanished and tried to kill himself, and Kurt Hummel's boyfriend sauntered down McKinley's halls like he owned the world, and no one voted for Hummel when he ran for president – but no one knocked him down, either.

Everyone else was panicking, and Kurt held his head high. (Yes, you watched. Of course you did.)

(Yes, he came close to a sharp knife and a final sleep again. But he was strong. So strong. Strong like you wanted to be. Strong like you've never been.)

On graduation day, Kurt Hummel walked across that stage, head held high, and blushed when his boyfriend blew him a kiss. Pretty soon, he'd leave Lima in the dust and go far away, like he'd always planned.

(On graduation day, you stare at Kurt Hummel and wish that, even once, you'd defended him.

Because just by walking down the hall, he'd defended you.

Kurt Hummel had never been invisible. And because he wasn't, you could be.

Because he wasn't, the bullies never noticed you.

And now he was leaving. Taking everything that was different with him.

Next year, there will be dumpster dives. Port-a-potty torments, unless Figgins comes to his senses, and how likely is that? Locker slams, probably. Slushy facials, definitely.

You wish you were brave. Wish you could hold your head high and defy.

But you are not Kurt Hummel. And you can only hope that next year, you're still invisible.)


	55. sunlight in the broken places

Title: sunlight in the broken places

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: takes place in 2.6

Pairings: pre-Klaine

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 50

Point of view: third

Prompt: any, any, revealed in the light.

* * *

><p>Kurt is always ice and steel, so cold and so strong – untouchable.<p>

Untouchable, so he can't be broken.

But Blaine takes his hand. Looks at him and smiles and _sings_. And Kurt feels the ice melting. His walls fracturing.

Because Blaine is sunlight, warming him where he's never let anyone touch.


	56. my missing puzzle piece

Title: my missing puzzle piece

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Katy Perry

Warnings: future!fic, fluff

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine

Rating: PG  
>Wordcount: 50<p>

Point of view: third

Prompt: Any, any, our song

* * *

><p>Dad's playlist always repeats an old Katy Perry song before going to the next. Moira has asked; all Dad does is laugh, and then start singing along.<p>

Finally, Papa is in the kitchen, too, and he smiles, turning to catch Dad when he dances over, crooning, "Don't ever look back."


	57. a handprint on my heart

Title: a handprint on my heart

Fandom: Glee/surprise crossover

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Wicked

Warnings: mentions of assault, bullying

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 250

Point of view: third

Prompt: any, any, I feel we've met before, even though I know it's not true

* * *

><p>"Excuse me," he hears, and he turns to see a boy out of uniform, smiling nervously. "I'm new here," the boy says.<p>

Blaine introduces himself, holding out a hand, and the boy says his name is Kurt, then asks, "What's going on?"

Blaine grins up at him. "The Warblers!" he says.

He knows this boy. Somehow, even though they've never met (he'd remember, oh, he would _definitely_ remember) he _knows _this boy.

.

He gives Kurt advice, helps him confront a kiss-stealer, mentors him, accidently obliviously hurts him, and finally realizes how much he loves him.

Through it all, he's too familiar with Kurt. Treats him like a life-long friend instead of a fragile boy he just met. Kurt's strong, so strong, stronger than Blaine has ever been, but it would've been so easily to break him in the early days.

Kurt feels it too, he knows. Otherwise, why would he let Blaine in so far, so quickly? Kurt's prickly at the best of times, defensive and cold. But he let Blaine all the way in, almost from day one.

It's not normal. There's something between them, something that says, _Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever._

.

When Blaine remembers, he turns to look at Kurt. Kurt's laughing with his dad, but he glances over, smiling, and Blaine knows that this might be the best life yet.

_Don't worry, my king,_ he thinks, walking over to lean into Kurt and nod along with his train of thought, _you'll remember soon._


	58. you just might be the one

Title: you just might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life  
>Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Lady Antebellum<p>

Warnings: takes place during Original Song

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 115

Point of view: third

Prompt: Any, any, Just a Kiss (Lady Antebellum)

* * *

><p>Blaine stares at Kurt as he pours his soul into a lament for a tiny bird, and he thinks, <em>Oh<em>.

After the music fades, Kurt thanks them all softly and walks out.

Blaine keeps sitting there, mind whirling, and all he wants is to follow Kurt, to fall to his knees at Kurt's feet and apologize, and beg, and promise to be Kurt's forever.

But he doesn't move, because he's done so many things wrong. He has to do this _right_.

So he goes to his room and plans out everything he wants to say. But when he finally goes to Kurt, all he can remember is, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever."


	59. one day

Title: one day

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: bullying/violence; pre-series

Pairings: none

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 100

Point of view: third

Prompt: Glee, Kurt + bullies, "Mean" (Taylor Swift)

* * *

><p>He wakes up in the morning and thinks, <em>One day, they'll work for me.<em>

He goes to school and thinks, _One day, they'll work for me._

He lands in the dumpster and thinks, _One day, I'll fire the lot of them._

He climbs out of the dumpster, he washes off the slushie, he hits the locker and closes his eyes -

Three more years. He can last that long because he is _leaving this town _and never looking back.

One day, he'll be gone. He'll be free.

They'll still be stuck here and won't even know what a tragedy that is.


	60. dessert

Title: desert

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: fluff; future!fic

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine

Rating: PG  
>Wordcount:100<p>

Point of view: third

Prompt: Any, any, comfort food

Note: if I'd been allowed more than a hundred words, they'd have been turned into serial killers.

* * *

><p>Kurt's mom used to make chocolate cupcakes that she'd ice with a peanut butter glaze. She didn't call them Reeses, but Kurt knew that's what they were.<p>

He told Blaine about those cupcakes during one of their first nights together at Dalton.

On their fifth anniversary, Blaine greets him at the door with a platter of cupcakes and a sheepish expression, because, as he tells it, "I know they're not as good, but I wanted to do something - "

Kurt smiles and plucks one off the platter, takes a bite and kisses Blaine, tasting of peanut butter and chocolate.


	61. escapism

Title: escapism

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: AU; mentions of canon bullying/violence

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 100

Point of view: third

Prompt: Glee, badboy!Blaine/cheerio!Kurt, force

* * *

><p>Kurt's uniform works the same way Blaine's fists and leather jacket do. Coach Sylvester is Kurt's protection; Blaine's dark looks and attitude are his.<p>

When they walk down the hall together, crowds part.

This isn't what Kurt imagined, back on the first day of high-school, and it's never where Blaine thought he'd be, back when he wore bowties and just wanted to be liked.

Those little boys died in a dumpster and parking lot, and the men rising from their ashes are getting the fuck out of Ohio.

"See you at lunch, sweetie," Kurt murmurs, and Blaine smiles, "Later, babe."


	62. The day was ended

Title: The day was ended that will never come again

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Sara Teasdale

Warnings: grief; spoilers for season 4

Pairings: Burt/Carole, past Burt/Mama Hummel

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 210

Point of view: third

Prompt: Glee, Burt Hummel, He visits her grave and tells her about taking Kurt to the airport.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Katie," he murmurs, setting a bouquet of daffodils on the dirt. "Our kid - he got so big, baby. He's a man now. I don't know how that happened... I just looked away for a second." He wipes at his eyes, staring out over the cemetery.<p>

He can almost hear Katie's laughter on the air and he can't help smiling.

"Kurt's stepping out into the big bad world," Burt says. "He's gonna take it by storm. Those yahoos in New York won't know what hit 'em when our kid gets there, Katie." His smile turns sad. "He got that from you, babe. And your stubbornness."

He wipes his eyes again. "I just looked away for a second," he repeats. "Then I looked back and he was as tall as me. When did that happen? He's so big and goin' to New York."

He reaches over to pat the stone. "I miss you every day, Kat," he whispers. "I love Carole, god knows I do – she's a good woman. You'd really like her." He pats the stone one more time, traces her name, and turns.

Carole's waiting at home and they're going out somewhere fancy, and they're not going to talk about empty nests or being so proud it burns.


	63. faith

Title: faith

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: fluff; mentions of break-ups

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine

Rating: PG  
>Wordcount: 99<p>

Point of view: third

Prompt: Glee, Burt + Blaine, why he wants this kid to be his son-in-law one day

* * *

><p>There's this way Blaine used to look at Kurt, when Kurt was around. Kurt was sunlight, and Blaine the flowers that turned toward the warmth. Blaine didn't look at Kurt like he was <em>perfect<em>– but like he was vital, necessary… sunlight and air at the same time.

Burt's been worried about Kurt for a long time. The world isn't a kind place, and Lima's nowhere near kind, either. And Blaine's really bad at first impressions – drunken sleepovers, giving parenting advice… well.

But Blaine loves Kurt with everything in him. And he's made a mistake.

Kurt looked at him, too. Would, again.


	64. families of choice

Title: families of choice

Fandom: Glee/RED/White Collar/Inception

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: mentions of bullying; AU

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, implied unrequited Neal/Peter, Frank/Sarah, Burt/Carole, Victoria/Ivan

Rating: PG  
>Wordcount: 198<p>

Point of view: third

Prompt: Glee/R.E.D./White Collar/Inception, Burt and son(s) + Frank and sons (Neal and Arthur), They were "co-workers" when they were young, now they're neighbors; no one understands their style of parenting better than each other.

* * *

><p>"Pour the tea," Kurt orders imperiously. Neal hides his grin and does. Arthur doesn't scowl, though Neal can tell he wants to.<p>

The kid is just too cute, though.

.

Arthur wants to kick the asses of everyone at McKinley during Kurt's freshman year, and Neal wants to frame them for various horrific crimes, and Uncle Burt and Dad have both have to control each other so that McKinley doesn't catch fire and explode.

.

Neal and Arthur are both gone (to New York and the army) when things get really bad. Arthur's about to vanish into black ops and Neal's on the verge of something big, and Kurt doesn't call anyone for help, not his dad or Uncle Frank or Neal&Arthur.

He calls Blaine.

.

"That kid'a yours," Frank says at Thanksgiving, "he's a handful, Burt."

Burt snorts. "And those boys'a yours, Frank?" he chuckles.

Marvin, Victoria, and Joe laugh. Carole and Ivan are discussing music while Kurt (with Blaine beside him) lectures Sarah on the proper colors for her skintone. Arthur's impressing Finn and Sam with some of his training and Neal's subtly checking his phone to see if Moz is keeping eyes on Peter as promised.

Life's good.


	65. the eighth rule

Title: the eighth rule

Disclaimer: not my characters; title is a reference to iFight Club/i

Warnings: AU, blood&violence, character death, implied rape

Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, unwanted Karofsky/Kurt

Rating: PG13

Wordcount: 1050

Point of view: third

Prompt: Glee, Kurt/Blaine, they meet in a fight club and grow close after agreeing to kill one another's bullies

* * *

><p>The first time Blaine saw him, he wasn't all that impressed. Yeah, the kid was gorgeous – but he looked, so breakable, so fragile, so lost.<p>

Then they were thrown in the ring together and the kid beat the shit out of him. So. First impressions aren't always right.

In fact… sometimes, they're dead wrong.

.

Every time Blaine fights, he punches Marty Donnerson, Frank Billers, Quinn Schmidt. He kicks Greg Felton, Roy Stein, Mike Henders. Bobby Wilcox bleeds and Adam Smith taps out.

Sometimes Blaine loses. Usually he doesn't.

Yeah, he's small. But he's fast and he's strong and he's _furious_.

Until Kurt Hummel, he was the youngest and smallest.

A few months after Kurt's first night, Blaine's the smallest again. But he's still older, if only by half a year.

.

Kurt's quiet. He doesn't trash talk or brag or try to be friendly. Blaine watches him all the time, and wants to approach him, wants to connect in a way he hasn't since the night of the dance (_Brendan, I'm so so sorry_).

Kurt lost his first night. He hasn't since. He's faster than Blaine, and that makes up for not being as strong until he's stronger.

Kurt's just as angry as Blaine, too. Maybe even angrier.

.

Sometimes, Blaine fights for Brendan, for the way he curled up on the ground, blood in a puddle around him, for the way he gasped and whimpered and begged for mercy that never came. For the way he'll limp until he dies. For the way he flinches and shies from touch.

Sometimes, Blaine fights because of how terrified he was, listening to Brendan scream.

Mostly, Blaine fights so he doesn't kill someone.

Until the night he doesn't.

.

After fight club breaks up, Blaine heads for his ride, talking to Nick about their English assignment. "Excuse me," Kurt calls behind them.

They both turn but Kurt's only looking at Blaine. He flicks his gaze to Nick who mutters, "I'll get the car warmed up," and hurries away.

"I know who Marty Donnerson is," Kurt says without preamble. At Blaine's raised eyebrow, he smirks, adding, "You mumble when you fight, Mr. Anderson."

"So?" Blaine asks.

Kurt's smirk tightens into something sharp and bitter, and his voice is cold when he says, "I'd like to make a deal with you."

Blaine steps closer, tilting his head. "And what deal is that, Mr. Hummel?"

"Meet me here tomorrow after school," Kurt says.

.

Nick doesn't ask about Kurt.

.

Kurt's waiting when he gets there, the empty lot midway between Westerville and Lima. Blaine's in his uniform, which he never wears to fight club, of course. Kurt's in jeans and a dark t-shirt with a wet spot near his hip that looks like blood. There's a black eye blooming on his face.

"Are you happy living off in a bubblewrapped-cage," Kurt says, not giving him a chance to ask (and Blaine isn't sure he was going to), "or do you want revenge?"

Revenge. Blood on the concrete, cracked bones and a shattered heart. Running, far and fast.

Not a single boy who hurt Blaine spent more than a night in lock-up.

"What do you have in mind?" he asks, meeting Kurt's eyes.

.

Noah Puckerman. Finn Hudson. Rick Nelson. Azimio Adams.

Dave Karofsky.

.

Marty Donnerson is the first. He's found in his car, wrapped around a pole. A couple things don't add up, really, but he's got more alcohol in his veins than blood, so.

Next is Dave Karofsky. He takes a bottle of his mom's sleeping pills and leaves a rambling note about how he can't keep living a lie.

Marty's in Columbus and Dave in Lima, so nothing connects them at all.

.

By the time anyone notices, a dozen boys each have been killed in two different cities.

Kurt and Blaine no longer go to fight club. They don't need it; they've found what they need somewhere else.

Kurt's dressing the way he used to, before Karofsky and the locker room and things being taken that can't be given back. Blaine's laughing and meaning it again.

Kurt's dad is happy. Blaine's parents are in Vienna for the year and Cooper can't be bothered to visit, caught up in the movie that might be his big break. (It isn't.)

.

Blaine quits the Warblers. They try to woo him back (especially Wes) but a couple new kids step in and take over. Blaine doesn't care. He's got Kurt and academics (and boxing, and martial arts, and knife lessons) and singing might take him places –

Yeah. It would also get him noticed.

And if he's noticed…

Finn Hudson gurgles. Blaine tilts his head, watching, and Kurt laughs, long and loud.

If he's noticed, he'll lose everything.

.

All good things must end, Blaine thinks, and keeps his eyes on Kurt.

Kurt's smiling, and there's blood on his hands, and none of it is theirs.

Sirens are getting closer, Blaine's head is ringing, and Blaine remembers that first night in the ring, and how Kurt beat him into the ground.

They're not kids anymore. But they're also not Butch and Sundance, or Thelma and Louise, or Bonnie and Clyde.

Blaine once thought Kurt was fragile. He wasn't wrong, not entirely.

So while Kurt is looking towards the window, Blaine lunges for him. He watches Kurt's eyes flutter close and whispers, "Get the fuck out of here, go somewhere, _live your life_."

The cops want somebody and they're sure as fuck not getting Kurt.

.

_There is a world where Will Schuster took over the glee club._

_There is a world where Kurt kept his head down and was never noticed._

_There is a world where Blaine went straight to Dalton instead of spending his freshman year at public school._

_There are worlds where Kurt and Blaine never met, or met earlier, or fell in love and broke up._

_And there is a world where Blaine committed suicide by cop so Kurt wouldn't be dragged down with him. In that world, Kurt survived, hopped continents, and kept right on killing. He knows that's all Blaine wanted._

.

"What are the rules?" Dev barks, and the new kid recites them all. Dev grins. "Anderson!" he says. "Get over here. You're the new kid's first fight."

Blaine meets the new kid's eyes and isn't impressed.

He will be soon.


End file.
